Episode 183 – Oliver Burkeman – Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking

[00:00:01] I'm Oliver burkeman and my book is
[00:00:03] I'm Oliver burkeman and my book is called the antidote happiness for people
[00:00:05] called the antidote happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking it's
[00:00:07] who can't stand positive thinking it's the story of my Adventures among some
[00:00:08] the story of my Adventures among some
[00:00:09] people who have a really unexpected and
[00:00:10] people who have a really unexpected and I think potentially revolutionary take
[00:00:12] I think potentially revolutionary take on how we think about happiness and
[00:00:14] on how we think about happiness and success which is in short that too much
[00:00:16] success which is in short that too much focus on positivity and optimism is the
[00:00:19] focus on positivity and optimism is the problem not the answer so here's a good
[00:00:22] problem not the answer so here's a good place to start there's an old game that
[00:00:24] place to start there's an old game that involves getting hold of one of your
[00:00:25] involves getting hold of one of your friends and challenging them to not
[00:00:26] friends and challenging them to not think about a polar bear for a whole
[00:00:28] think about a polar bear for a whole minute of course they can't do it try it
[00:00:31] minute of course they can't do it try it for yourself as soon as you make the
[00:00:32] for yourself as soon as you make the effort all you can think of is polar
[00:00:34] effort all you can think of is polar bears it's the fact that you're trying
[00:00:36] bears it's the fact that you're trying so hard to do something that sabotages
[00:00:38] so hard to do something that sabotages your attempt to do it I think that's a
[00:00:40] your attempt to do it I think that's a good analogy for the whole book it seems
[00:00:42] good analogy for the whole book it seems so obvious to most people that if you
[00:00:43] so obvious to most people that if you want to be happy you should do lots of
[00:00:45] want to be happy you should do lots of positive thinking that if you want to be
[00:00:46] positive thinking that if you want to be successful you should set clear goals
[00:00:49] successful you should set clear goals that in general you should cultivate
[00:00:50] that in general you should cultivate optimism and above all avoid thinking
[00:00:52] optimism and above all avoid thinking about the fact that in the end you're
[00:00:54] about the fact that in the end you're going to die but there's a lot of really
[00:00:56] going to die but there's a lot of really exciting psychological research that's
[00:00:58] exciting psychological research that's turning all that on its head it's
[00:01:00] turning all that on its head it's emerged for example that those books of
[00:01:01] emerged for example that those books of positive thinking affirmations often
[00:01:03] positive thinking affirmations often make people miserable and that
[00:01:04] make people miserable and that visualizing your goals can make you less
[00:01:06] visualizing your goals can make you less likely to achieve them because your
[00:01:08] likely to achieve them because your brain relaxes it gets tricked into
[00:01:09] brain relaxes it gets tricked into thinking that you've already achieved
[00:01:10] thinking that you've already achieved
[00:01:11] the goal and it turns out that there's a
[00:01:13] the goal and it turns out that there's a long tradition in philosophy and
[00:01:14] long tradition in philosophy and spirituality that's about embracing
[00:01:17] spirituality that's about embracing negativity about easing up on all this
[00:01:19] negativity about easing up on all this positive thinking and learning instead
[00:01:21] positive thinking and learning instead to bathe in insecurity and uncertainty
[00:01:23] to bathe in insecurity and uncertainty and failure to confront your mortality
[00:01:26] and failure to confront your mortality and to find the enormous potential for
[00:01:27] and to find the enormous potential for happiness that's lurking inside all that
[00:01:30] happiness that's lurking inside all that so in the book I I meet modern day
[00:01:32] so in the book I I meet modern day stoics who argue that you should often
[00:01:33] stoics who argue that you should often focus on the worst case scenario instead
[00:01:35] focus on the worst case scenario instead of the best I go on a silent Buddhist
[00:01:38] of the best I go on a silent Buddhist Meditation Retreat I travel to Mexico
[00:01:40] Meditation Retreat I travel to Mexico and Kenya and elsewhere to try to find
[00:01:42] and Kenya and elsewhere to try to find people who have this radical take on
[00:01:44] people who have this radical take on happiness and success and I think what
[00:01:46] happiness and success and I think what emerges is actually a really happy
[00:01:48] emerges is actually a really happy message especially for people like me
[00:01:50] message especially for people like me who've always been quite put off by
[00:01:51] who've always been quite put off by positive thinking and motivational
[00:01:53] positive thinking and motivational speakers and all the rest of it and
[00:01:55] speakers and all the rest of it and that's that as individuals and as a
[00:01:57] that's that as individuals and as a society we can ReDiscover the power of
[00:01:59] society we can ReDiscover the power of negative thinking
[00:02:02] negative thinking