[Music]

welcome to the human experience podcast

the only podcast designed to fuse your

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feed it the most entertaining and

mentally engaging topics on the planet

as we approach our ascent please make

sure your frontal temporal and occipital

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relax your senses and allow us to take

you on a journey we are the intimate

strangers thank you for listening ladies

and gentlemen welcome we’ve got an

incredible show planned for you guys

this evening we’re gonna be discussing

love relationships soul and karmic

connection thank you so much for being

here with us whether you’re listening to

this on the podcast version or you’re

here with us now live this is gonna be

highly informative entertaining as it

usually is so sit back grab a drink and

enjoy this conversation the human

experiences in session my name is Xavier

katana my guest for today is Kate Rose

Kate is an author thinker and

relationship expert Kate received her

bachelor’s in visual arts education and

her master’s in clinical art therapy

from Springfield College kate has

published widely on the topics of love

and relationships but it was her article

we only fall in love with three people

in our lifetime which became a viral

sensation it is it has been read by more

than 69 million people she has gone on

to attempt to capture lightning in a

bottle with her latest book of the same

name

as Rose uses this book to speak to those

who crave both logical and spiritual

answers to questions about love hate it

is a pleasure welcome to hxp hi Xavier

thank you so much for having me it’s

truly a pleasure to be here as well so

Kate and this is your first book

congratulation congratulations it’s

amazing I mean we all think about maybe

doing this but actually having it happen

it’s a very surreal experience that’s

amazing yeah let’s we’re gonna get into

that how I mean how did that come about

how did you you know how did you move

into writing about love and

relationships and then how did the how

did you kind of spawn the book from that

um I think when someone’s a writer

you’re always a writer even if you don’t

yet have a platform and maybe that’s

true perhaps for any of our passions

whether or not we’re actually making

money on it or doing something with it

if we have it we do it that’s what we

are and so I always with a writer and

then as literally I I woke up one

morning and I had two titles for

articles in my and my brain and they

were written by noon and published that

first day and that really began the

whirlwind of I mean I think at this

point between the astrology and all the

love and relationship I’m well over a

thousand articles at this point and so

it really I’m I kind of gravitated

towards love because I was going through

a lot in the departments of love and so

one of the best ways to actually work

through all your emotions and feelings

is to write about it and then I was

retaining so much feedback the number

one thing that just soul encouraged me

was you make me feel like I’m not alone

and it was like wow and again like that

even ties to the experience of being

human that we’re all here we’re all the

simultaneous they go into the same thing

but yet how many of us actually go

through those experiences and those

moments of feeling like we’re all alone

in whatever we are going through for

sure you know and so like that kind of

just kept me going and then you know I

started coaching and you know speaking

with people all over the world and even

that’s incredible because no matter who

we are what continent what country what

socio-economic background any of it a

broken hearts a broken heart

you know it’s it’s if you can’t dress it

up no matter what else you have going on

that that’s what it is and you know so

playing through all of that and it was

literally I had you know I’m a single

mom I had two amazing wild little girls

and it was after dinner one night we

were sitting on the couch and the idea

for we only fall in love three times

came to me and so I had written

something out you know it was a post

before it even became an article because

sometimes I’ll just do little things and

from there I remember checking my social

media the next day and I was like what

happened what happened with us and from

there it just got to be bigger and the

idea of it really resonated with people

because it’s something again love is

universal we all go through these we

have to go through lessons we go through

challenges before we reach that ultimate

healthy relationship that not only can

you know possibly last forever or what

our definition of forever is but also

evolve and grow with us and as we grow

we learn how to do that in relationship

okay so let’s let’s get into the

dynamics of relationships I mean I think

it’s I think it’s interesting that this

word twin flame is is being used more

and more it seems like it seems like

there is this you know without any

disrespect this woke movement that is

kind of talking about you know twin

flames and as we were talking about in

the pre-interview people you know you

said that people are kind of hungry to

connect on deeper levels with in regards

to love so you know let’s define what a

twin flame is let’s define what soul

connections are you can well I mean in

the book when we talk about the three

types of Love’s that we have we really

can’t categorize them as soulmate comic

and twin flame and the soulmate love is

the one that usually comes and that’s

usually one of our first love’s

soulmates can be our high school of

sweet hearts or the people that we kind

of fall in love with afterward or

perhaps even come back to I went back to

mine and they’re really sweet they’re

there’s nothing that’s ever really wrong

in the soulmate connection it’s

it can be that person that maybe sets

our family’s profile or or idea of who

we would end up with or even ours you

know growing up that whole idea of love

is a fairy tale that were fed when we’re

children and so the soul me is just I

mean it’s a really sweet love it’s not

one that we’re gonna have a lot of ups

and downs and a lot of lessons with it’s

not one that’s going to trigger growth

itself other than the fact that we’re

gonna have to grow as individuals to

kind of move away from that but it’s a

very stable love that’s one that a lot

of times we do end up you know my people

marry their their soul mates or their

first loves because it’s very

comfortable and so it’s easy for us to

kind of stay there after that we usually

all move into that karmic glove and see

the thing with the twin flame iconic is

that there’s a lot of relationships that

are actually karmic in nature that

people will label as twin flame or

you’ll hear the false twin out there as

well or soul ties I mean there’s so many

different variations on this and the

deciding factor is actually the real

health of the relationship are two

people actually growing in the same

direction because in the beginning a lot

of the principles between karmic and

twin flame can be really similar usually

there’s an intense physical attraction

right off the bat there’s a lot of

passion associated with it and if we

think about a comic lesson

whether it’s Karma that we have to and

you know work through because we

inherited in this lifetime or carried

over from a previous if there’s not

something really really strong between

us and another person if we’re not

having that intense intellectual and

physical connection and you know sex off

the charts we’re not gonna stay for the

lesson so those relationships are

engineered as such so that we’re going

to have that really passionate

connection we’re going to have that but

what separates that from the twin flame

is that maybe you’re gonna have that

comity you’re gonna have that connection

maybe there’s going to be ups and downs

because that’s the one thing is that

even with the twin flame and this is

something you know it feels like other

people have one idea or the other either

they hear twin flame and they think you

know disguising is going to

up and the angels are gonna start

singing the day they meet their twin

flame and there’s gonna be no issues and

no problems ever chore they’re going to

excuse every single unhealthy behavior

all because they’ve put that label of

twin flame on it yes I mean it’s a big

label right it’s a big label and like

you and I were even talking kind of that

pre-interview phase there is a lot of

pressure so when we’re dealing with the

chronic and twin flame it kind of

depends on how long we then with

somebody so if we’ve been with somebody

and it seems like okay every

relationship has ups and downs we still

have that intense connection but are we

growing together are we growing towards

the same point are we not repeating past

patterns are we stepping in so you know

higher versions of ourselves are we

acting for my higher selves are we

looking to grow are we reaching that

point and a lot of those comic

relationships they will dissolve at one

point they’ll break down there’ll be

some sort of chaotic ending or it will

reach that point where all of a sudden

we wake up and we’re like I can’t do

this anymore and that’s kind of like

that pinnacle of the karmic but there’s

also a very addictive nature because of

the passion because of the effect so

that’s what you get the karmic really is

like that roller coaster where you know

you can call your friend and we’re off

again and then we’re on again and off

again and that’s really harmik twin

flame maybe you’re gonna have some hard

times maybe people aren’t gonna be on

the exact same page at all time but

you’re moving towards that goal together

and it’s not just a common goal in life

but you’re also helping one another

become your best self not by making life

easy not by being the exact picture of

who you know our parents want us to be

not by saying or doing all the right

things but by lovingly challenging that

person by helping them unpack all their

baggage that you know anybody out here

we all have baggage to unpack a few

decades and so that’s what the Twin

Flame really is and it’s this the idea

the real spiritual belief behind it is

that the Twin Flame originated you know

and this was historically speaking each

kind of cultural area has its own you

know definition or story about Twin

Flames you know in Egypt it’s oh sorry

in Greece it was the story of how humans

were born with four arms and four legs

in Asia it was the red the red string of

fate so in you know this is a historical

concept in which there was one source of

energy in the beginning of creation and

that energy was split into two yeah and

over the course of many many many

lifetimes we are born into different

roles in different bodies only coming

together in a romantic fashion in one of

our last lifetimes on earth because we

have learned all those lessons

previously and so when we look at that

and people are aligning with that the

twin flame idea has to look at again

kind of even like your intro looking at

that spiritual aspect but also the

logical aspect because we’re not seeing

millions of souls right now in their

last lifetime if that’s how many are

saying you know we’re in our were in our

twin flame relationship but if we look

at twin flame instead as this divine

relationship well then it’s able to be

more accepted and be able to be more

widely used by people in their romantic

relationship because now we’re using

twin flame not so much as this esoteric

definition of this energy that was split

but really the epitome of an involved

healthy conscious relationship which as

a society we’re moving towards yeah for

sure I love that you go into sort of the

history of the origins of where this

term comes from I think there’s a lot to

that and you know I’ve been studying

this myself and you know but I but I

want to know you know we I think I think

we get a lot of our ideas from

mainstream culture movies television do

you think that we’ve romanticized the

notion of you know falling in love and

and being like yes we all want to be

whole you know is there a situation

where a person will never encounter this

other aspect of themselves perhaps they

have a mission that’s that’s higher I

mean I’m just throwing out you know a

hypothetical well you know the thing is

too is I I do personally believe very

much

that we are souls in a physical body in

this lifetime I believe that I was

reincarnated several times I believe

that I came into this life with you know

a whole heap of good things and a whole

heap of things that I had to work

through that I had to overcome that at

lessons that I had to learn and so if

we’re looking at that with you know the

population as a whole and whether people

are old soul whether they’ve been

reincarnated several times or young

souls they’re just kind of learning the

game of what this life thing is that is

all about not every soul does have that

same purpose so not every soul has that

purpose of reuniting with path you know

their counterpart because if you’re

looking at different people and where

we’re all at in this kind of game of

life if someone who is at a younger

stage they wouldn’t know what to do with

that connection right there wouldn’t be

because there’s the idea of the Twin

Flames – that the purpose when what and

this is what I think kind of draws

people as well is that overall as we’ve

seen romantic you know notions evolve in

relation with evolve and yes Hollywood

definitely had a part in that but it was

being romanticized long ago I mean that

kind of in the Victorian era you know

well before Hollywood people were really

able to start marrying and looking at

that idea of love before then marriage

was the only idea of commitment there

was no you know there was nothing else

it was marriage or nothing and it was a

business arrangement between families

sure so historically there has been this

shift of what what is a romantic

relationship and so we’ve seen that

shift from you know even like the the

nuclear family being at home and even

still then marriage was about social

status and you know sometimes in certain

cultures marriage is a convenience

because it’s just easier to share things

together but as we’re moving and

evolving as a group and as a culture as

a humanity we’re seeing that people

don’t necessarily want to be married

just to have children we don’t want to

be married just to have this person that

we wake up with every day and we don’t

even necessarily want to have to be

married to be in a committed

relationship so I think as part of this

as evolving what we’re seeing is that

people are suddenly like I want to have

a relationship that’s more than just

this ring on my

anger and so we’re seeing that draw for

twins because with twin flames it’s not

just about the love it’s not just about

the passion it’s about the connection

but it’s how can these two people you

know there’s like there’s all these

three entities when I’m looking to

people I always describe there’s three

entities in any relationship there’s

each of it at people individually and

then there’s whatever energy they create

between them and that’s not a child

that’s not you know even a business that

is what else is there between them so

when we’re looking at the twin flames we

have two entities we have two souls who

are coming to the table and then we have

what are they creating together and in

the case of twin flames it’s something

for the betterment of the planet as

we’re moving forward you know we can tie

in the astrology and the Aquarian age

and you know even Uranus’s new cycles

and all of this as we’re moving through

this we are looking at more spiritual

terms of how to evolve we are looking at

how many more people now are talking

about their wounding are talking about

triggering that was something I never

remember being around you know when I

was younger so it’s something as a whole

we’re looking and we’re evolving so as

we’re evolving we don’t necessarily need

our relationships to fulfill that

financial aspect we don’t need someone

to you know buy the house or take care

of that working for somebody that we can

combine together and make a difference

in the world because now we’re looking

at a much global picture we’ve kind of

shed a lot of those ego constraints

those dynamics and rather than just

having that you know big signing ring

well let’s see how we can change the

world together what’s our purpose for

our relationship and that’s the part

that I love that people are so attracted

to because it’s like yes let’s make a

difference in the world you know how is

that that’s an awesome thing if we have

so many people together in these

relationships yes you can change the

world with your love let’s do it

mm-hmm okay yeah I mean I I can follow

that I can follow the part where you

know you say that it’s more than just a

business transaction for sure yeah I

mean now you know once you have this

this sense of you know economic shift

and with the advent of technology I mean

certainly social media has changed the

landscape in which we can

with other people right so I mean tinder

for example I mean Oh God God your heart

you’re on tinder but you know it has you

know – bringing it down to the point of

you know kind of like grocery shopping

for you know a connection with someone

or something like you know you you just

swipe left or right with your finger and

that’s as much you know in the initial

phases right so when we get into this

sort of deeper connection that we feel

with someone what are some of the I mean

is it synchronicity is is it a mutual

recognition is it an energy I mean do

you do you do you start to kind of think

and the same things I mean how does that

work how does the connection when you

meet someone you would term your twin

flame how does that sort of evolve so a

lot of times there are synchronous ities

in the beginning and when we say that

term synchronicity it can be anything

from seeing the number signs whether

it’s repetitive number sequences or even

a mixed number sequence it can be

something like a song it can be you know

a time of day it can be anything that’s

meaningful to us that we at one point

have thought because thoughts are real

thoughts are energy and thoughts our

messages

so anything that at one point has met

meant something to us that’s like a

radio wave that we send out in the

universe so when the universe is trying

to kind of wake us up and say okay you

know this is the time to start paying

attention we’re gonna get those radio

waves back to us

in terms of signs and synchronicities

the one thing that we do have to be wary

of is that the universe is not just

going to send the synchronicities for

those really great moments that are

coming in our life it’s gonna send us

those for those that are maybe not so

great for us

so those comic relationships that are

incredibly difficult they’ll be sending

us synchronicities too so that’s why we

have to be very aware and conscious in

what we’re doing and not label things in

the beginning because when we label

things were not so much seeing who the

person is or what the connection is

rather than building it around the words

that we’ve already attached to it so say

we meet somebody and we’re

lots of synchronicities we’re seeing

great number signs or angel numbers

we’re hearing all the right songs on the

radio and then we start talking with

them well as we’re talking with them

there might be a similarity or balance

in our love languages we might even know

what the love languages is and might be

able to share that we might have that

you know a similar or shared Life Path

number we might have overlapping or

there might be family you know birthdays

kind of sinking into it there might be

similar names within families all of

that would kind of be those

synchronicities again not necessarily

left to enflame but just letting us know

okay whoever this person is as of now is

going to be significant to our lives so

it’s time to start paying attention

we’re also going to have an intense

physical attraction for them and you

know whether or not it’s right off the

bat whether or not it comes through the

intellectual and the mental stimulation

because that is one of the absolute

hallmarks of twin flame is the

intellectual connection which when you

think about it when it is those shared

bodies of energy of course there’s going

to be really that same aspect if you

know if we all are sending out our

different radio waves twenty are always

on the same frequency and so we’re kind

of picking up each other so the

conversations always amazing and a lot

of times I’ve spoken with people and the

twin flame maybe necessarily wasn’t

their physical type maybe they’ve never

dated somebody who looked like them

before but then through the

conversations and the stimulation until

actually that person suddenly became the

most attractive person they’ve ever met

so that’s definitely one of those signs

as we get further into the relationship

and this is where kind of that true twin

flame differs from a lot of what we’re

told what we’re told right now which

really perpetuates an unhealthy cycle of

relationship is that twin flames run

twin flames chase twin flames leave and

when you really start looking at it

that’s not really the basis of any of

the spiritual relationships that’s

something that as humans which of course

you know we can’t blame anybody we’re

only doing the best we can on a negative

day but we’ve attached these labels and

these stages to a relationship

that really only perpetuate that

unhealthy cycle love that you know and

so that is what it was but for Twin

Flames does it mean that there’s never

going to be a breakup absolutely not but

there’s no running in Twin Flames

there’s no chasing you’re talking about

a very highly evolved relationship which

means that as such only people who are

at that level can actually bond and sync

in with one another so when you’re at

that point when you’re aware of your

wounding when you’re aware of your

triggering when you know what is still

holding you back when you know what you

still have to work through when you are

that aware about yourself even if you’re

entering into connection with somebody

and you’re scared say you’re you’re

triggered because you’re not sure if you

can be what that person needs or you’re

afraid that maybe you’ll get hurt again

or whatever it may be you’re aware

enough that you’re not just gonna take

off running and ghosts this person now

if you’re in a twin flame relationship

and you get scared you you you speak for

what you want so you you say that you

need time you say that you need space

you think about it but then you process

and communicate it as the twin flame

goes on the one thing that’s usually

pretty kinda with twins is that they

don’t actually have a strong desire to

get married even the fan that’s spending

their whole lives together they prefer

very untraditional types of commitment

or types of arrangements I’ve talked to

twins who even lived in separate houses

after marrying who have lived together

without being married who married

themselves on top of a cliff I mean

there’s so many different kind of phases

of that but it pretty much looks across

the board that twins as they come in to

one another it is very what we would say

non-traditional at this point in our

society and then they do end up kind of

doing some sort of outreach to the

community whether it’s something through

you know a penciling I’ve seen food

programs you know I’ve seen see people

kind of set up and you know build a

school together

so there’s definitely this aspect of

whether it’s on a small level whether

it’s on a global level even just a

community level they do take their

shared strengths together and they make

something bigger than just them so that

the really

raishin ship is actually serving a

purpose more than just just this

amazingly wonderful healthy connection

it’s making a difference to the people

around them to the environment around

them and that’s really what raising the

vibration of the planet is all about the

vibration of this planet is not being

raised in leaps and bounds because of

all the really big events that happen

that’s it’s not being raised by when we

gather a million people together the

vibration of the planet is becoming

raised because we’re speaking truth more

and more and because we have people

making small differences every single

day and so when we look at that and we

look at the relationships of the Twin

Flames every trying to flame that comes

together raises the vibration of the

planet exponentially but even if you’re

not with your twin flame and you’re

still on that path of recognizing you’re

wounding and you’re triggers and you’re

doing that that’s raising the vibration

and so we have all these people who

through their own healing and through

this relationship we’re raising the

plant the vibration so hopefully

hopefully by the time my daughter’s get

to be teenagers tinder will be no such

thing but you know even with bringing

that in you know some people nights out

but it’s like in every stage of

development that our planet has gone

through of course there’s the easy of

course there’s the test of course the

other challenges that doesn’t mean that

that is that speaks for where we’re at

as a country it doesn’t mean that that

speaks for where we’re at as as a

collection of humans on this planet it

just means that somebody had a great

idea to appeal to the weaknesses and the

fears of us and put all of us out there

on it is exactly like grocery shopping

or you know the human version of Amazon

and mark it that way but it doesn’t

necessarily mean that that’s actually

representational of where we’re at and

what we want as a whole for our romantic

relationship okay so you know there’s a

lot to unpack with what you just said

but one of the main things that I want

to touch on is that you know I’ve been

researching this for a while and I had

read some of the more popular articles I

don’t think I got to yours

yet and it you know talked about this

aspect of twin flame relationship

and one of the key points for me that I

had a problem a big problem with was

that you know these these other people

were identifying this sort of run and

chase phenomena and I and I thought you

know that’s that’s toxic like I mean to

me it just seems like that would only

perpetuate that behavior in itself when

you’re giving people this sort of idea

of this is how it works so this is what

it should look like so maybe we should

reflect that since we want it so much

right and you know what

but moving past that I you know is there

is there a sense of I mean clearly with

all these connections you know the soul

karmic and then finally the twin which

is I guess what everyone’s hoping for

but you know there’s I must I’m

presuming that there’s a sort of gravity

there’s something that pulls you into

who this person is and maybe there is

even some sort of psychic phenomena

that’s that’s happening where you feel

like you’re inhabiting the other

person’s soul the other person’s being

even if you’re not in the same location

perhaps you can even sense and feel them

um what do you think is the biggest

mistake that a twin flame couple can

make okay well I mean you’ve even said a

lot right there as far as you know what

other articles have said and everything

like that honestly one of the things

that I feel like we don’t really even

need to do for us this book is really

about self-knowledge because the more

we’re aware of what we’re doing and what

we’ve been through

then we can start making different

choices moving forward but in

relationship I think what we have to ask

ourselves is there any reason or need to

label it at all so looking at that Twin

Flame relationship of course could we

say that one of the biggest mistakes

they could do is take it for granted yes

but that would be true for any

connection what’s the biggest mistake

that a twin flame relationship could do

could they buy into the runner and

chaser absolutely but they could also

buy into any of the other stereotypes

that we talk about relationships but

really for any sort of relationship

dynamic I think it doesn’t so much

matter what we label the relationship

that we’re in so much as we use those

terms and definitions to reflect on what

we’ve been through so that when we are

moving forward we’re making different

choices and we’re coming from a

different level of awareness because

there’s actually and this and this by

saying they work with clients whether or

not you call somebody your soulmate your

twin flame or karmic as we’re talking

about them and as you know a woman is

usually describing you know her partner

her ex to me it doesn’t change the

connection it doesn’t change the

connection just because she said this is

my twin flame it doesn’t mean that

that’s gonna be healthy it doesn’t mean

that the toxic behaviors of the running

and chasing coming in and out lacking

integrity and honesty and it doesn’t

mean that’s gonna make it better if she

used this old so those labels as we’re

actually in a relationship what we need

to do really for ourselves is instead of

going into a connection I mean in saying

that someone’s my soulmate or you know

even telling them you know I’m one of

the first dates or soon after that oh my

god I think you’re my twin flame yeah

just hold off like we can know that we

can know that if you really think that

that’s amazing but hang on Matt because

there’s actually no benefit of labeling

that relationship and so many times we

end up doing that and then we attach as

humans we’re still working through that

idea of not having expectations because

expectations do ruin everything so I’ve

seen I’ve worked with people we you know

meet somebody new it’s amazing oh my god

we like all the same music you know our

moms are named the same you know we have

the same life number oh my god he has to

be my twin flame and so then they say

that and then their relationship lasts a

month and then he starts ghosting and

then it’s like well well now he’s just

in his running phase so all right now

I’m in a Google and I’m gonna pay

somebody all this money to how to get my

twin flame back to me and I’m gonna wait

and I’m not gonna date anybody because I

know he’s coming back no no no no no

that’s the quickest way not only to have

an unhealthy relationship idea but also

to be unhappy and miss out on life the

thing that we have to remember is no

matter what we label somebody as no

matter what we label a connection as you

are know you’ll know without a shadow of

a doubt if somebody is your twin flame

because they’re gonna come in

your life with purpose you’re gonna

they’re gonna know that they’re there

they’re gonna come in with presents

they’re not gonna be wishy-washy they’re

not gonna be all over the place you’re

not gonna have to wonder how you’re

feeling you’re not gonna have to wonder

if this is actually something serious or

meaningful you’re gonna know and that’s

the thing that I think that we have to

remember with these relationships is yes

it’s a twin flame let’s have that

spirituality component but let’s also

bring it down to earth a little bit

because no matter what we call something

we’re gonna know what it really is by

how it acts and Hallum behaves hmm I

love that it’s such a powerful note to

add to the you know sort of the end of

your statement there and I yeah I I

connect with that a lot and you know

there’s there’s a there’s a quote if you

love something set it free and I think

that’s so crucial I think you know being

able to give someone that freedom

instead of trying to sort of micromanage

and I mean as a guy if you want to scare

me thoroughly and probably have me not

talk to you again just tell me I’m your

soul mate within you know the first

couple of dates that does not work I

told you my red flag please don’t tell

me that yeah and so you know that leads

me to sort of my next you know and I

think a lot of people are navigating

sort of that we want this deeper

connection in our lives and we’re

navigating what the things that can be

sort of illusory you know and the things

that can trick us into thinking they’re

deeper than maybe they are and you know

I don’t I don’t think anyone enjoys

being hurt or ghosted and so you know

what are some red flags that we can look

out for in especially in the spiritual

context of things one of the things you

know that we really have to get is when

we’re meeting somebody we have to be

really really really aware about are we

seeing this person for how they’re

actually presenting or are we projecting

our own ideas and our own beliefs upon

somebody and seeing them differently

it’s a really beautiful thing to say

that we see the person we see the man

maybe the woman that someone could be

but if they’re not actually presenting

as

that’s one of the biggest red flags that

actually doesn’t lie throughout the

duration of the relationship so when

we’re talking in spiritual terms when

we’re looking at somebody and when we’re

having those beginning interactions you

know one is somebody able to challenge

us are they able to say no I don’t agree

with that because we also when we’re

when we’re dealing with these

relationships and we’re having somebody

constantly agree with us then that’s

kind of almost that people-pleasing

where we know at some point that’s gonna

come in as a factor to the relationship

either between the two of you or in a

greater dynamic but it’s also letting us

know that if someone can actually have a

conversation and agree and disagree and

have suggestions and alternate

viewpoints then their sense of self has

already formed in terms of spirituality

you know that that spirituality is kind

of like that last stage of evolution

that we all go through whether you know

we grow up and we learn you know become

autonomous learn how to take care of

ourselves we learn about money

spirituality is kind of that about last

phase and in order to really get to that

sense of spirituality for ourselves

that’s not to say that we might not go

through different phases or periods or

you know if we’re raised in a particular

denomination as children or a particular

belief but to actually choose something

as an adult is one of those last stages

but in order to do that we need to have

our sense of self and the biggest thing

that we need to do and be aware of when

we’re in relationship love somebody or

or even talking about possibly being in

relationship ours are you looking at two

again kind of bringing in that whole

people or do both people have their

sense of self fully formed

do they have their likes do they have

their dislikes do they know themselves

do they know their limitations my

favorite thing is does everybody know

their non-negotiables as far as you know

apart from twin flame apart from

everything if you’re looking at your

non-negotiables

what are your absolutes for what you

need or what you need from a partner and

a lot of times when we first think of

that date they’re more tangible

they can even be something that we would

see in the 3d world but as we kind of

evolved on our path and we’re looking at

not negotiate your non-negotiables

they do become more spiritual they do be

I’m more fluid and they do become more

5g because rather than saying

potentially you know we might need

somebody to be able to provide for us or

guide us you know financially well now

we need someone who can actually need us

intellectually who can stimulate us who

can be open and willing to explore

different venues or different aspects of

spirituality whether it you know be you

know chanting or you know different

centers or you know just open this you

know so as as we go on that’s what we

require more or that what max might be

that shift from the 3d to the 5d so when

we’re talking with somebody especially

in the beginning you know obviously it’s

that sense of self I’m the more basic

level it’s are they taking

responsibility for what has happened in

their life previously are they owning

their part because no matter who it is

no matter what what’s happened no

relationship falls apart because one

person’s a villain and one person that

angel it just doesn’t happen and so we

have to be able to be in that place to

own our part in it even if maybe we at

that time didn’t think we didn’t

anything wrong it’s not about being

wrong it’s about how did our acceptance

how that our actions lead to the event

that took place that ended the

relationship

and so when we’re looking at that and

talking of somebody if someone you know

is over over agreeable if they don’t

take responsibility for past

relationships if their beliefs seem more

dependent upon what we’re saying if they

are having a hard time disagreeing with

us those are red flags right there and

then of course it’s that is their words

are their words

matching up with their actions so if

they’re saying but they’re a very

spiritual person are they very spiritual

for who they truly are authentically or

are they only mirroring what they think

very spiritual you know in quotations

people do or look like we’re so that’s

that you know other pieces that are they

actually presenting as authentically

spiritual people and so when we’re

looking at this more on contouring

people this is why that awareness comes

in so much and you know we all hear that

piece sometimes that instantly love

ourselves we’re not going to have

someone else love us and that statement

unto itself is untrue we cannot love

ourselves and we absolutely can have

someone say they love us but can we have

someone love us greater than we love

ourselves yeah no yeah it’s I mean it’s

virtually impossible because we end up

surrounding ourselves with the mirror so

when we hear that term it’s basically

whatever level of self love and self

acceptance because I think those two go

hand-in-hand that we’re at we’re going

to mirror around us so when we’re at

this phase where we have our developed

sense of stuff where we do have a deep

love for ourselves when we accept

ourselves for everything we’ve been

through

when we accept ourselves for everything

we are our humanists are supposed flaws

all of that then we’re gonna have our

eyes wide open when we start interacting

with people we’re gonna say okay this

person feels important in my life this

feels like a connection that could be a

twin flame or something that’s

meaningful but I’m gonna let the

universe show me what this person is to

me I’m gonna let the universe show me I

have a feeling but I’m not gonna decide

I’m not gonna label and I’m not gonna

you know have it be that set in stone

that this is it I’m gonna let the

universe show me because that is the one

thing is that the universe will always

show us who is meant to be in our lives

and who isn’t yeah I mean wow what a

resounding you know thing to say it’s so

true as well

you know where you are how much you love

yourself is what you’re going to get

back and there’s no there’s never going

to be anyone that can love you or

replace this sense of love within

yourself that you know you you have for

you and and you have to kind of be

complete in that sense before you find

this healthy connection through another

person it’s never going to be something

that you are going to be able to

externalize and it’s going to fill you

up completely it’s it’s always gonna

kind of leave you

you know half half full you’re gonna

you’re gonna you’re gonna want more

so you know a lot of people think a lot

of people think that relationships are

apart parking lot you know you get there

and you just it’s it’s lazy you know and

it’s not that you know it and you even

say this in your book that relationships

are a vehicle for self growth I agree so

much and you know it’s it’s it’s like

some of these people that come into our

lives whether you know their soul or

karmic or twin

I think they propel us in very similar

ways you know they they get us to its

point of the next evolution of ourselves

and so in that sense to me you know

they’re they’re of equal importance you

know it’s it’s not salutely yeah so you

know it’s interesting but but go ahead

well and I so love that you said that

because that is one thing like when I’ve

been talking with people is they’re like

you know they have that natural

assumption or belief that twin flame

equals better than soulmate and that

your karmic is not as good because it’s

usually quite painful and you know

somewhat dramatic and that’s not the

case at all because you know if you

believe and I truly believe that every

single thing that we go through on a

day-to-day basis moment by moment is

something that were meant to experience

it’s something that we’re being given

and shown so that we can actually learn

the lessons that were meant to in this

lifetime and so that we can become the

people that were meant to I recently I

was talking with someone and you know I

love this great term in its earth is our

classroom you know for those people who

do believe that we’re soul is earth is

our classroom so we come here and we

came here specifically to learn some of

us have specific paths where we’re

supposed to learn about different things

but love is something that we’re all

learning about even if we don’t end up

spending 40 years of our lives with

somebody it doesn’t mean that we didn’t

come here to learn about love and so

when we’re looking at this and we’re

looking at our soulmate what are we

learning from our soulmate what are we

learning from even if we decide to marry

our soulmate

what are we learning it does that mean

that the next lifetime we’re gonna meet

our twin flame not necessarily because

maybe

we’re gonna choose to marry our soulmate

for five lifetimes until we can move on

past that hmm you know even when we look

at that idea of people will often be

like oh my god I keep dating the same

person with a different name is like

that’s the karmic where you know people

like awhile I fell I fell in love like

way more than three times and that’s a

lot of times like the karmic like we we

usually will only have one really sweet

soulmate love our karmic love can kind

of keep coming back in as different

people if we’re not learning those

lessons and a lot of those lessons are

those really sense of self like our

worthiness you know for so many people I

feel like either a man or woman a lot of

what ends up coming up at some point is

abandonment you know our level of

confidence are we what are we deserving

of what are we worthy of and so all of

this all of these loves are amazing

because in at the end of the day it

seems like we have made this whole idea

that the only reason that a love is

amazing that I love it beautiful is if

it lasts forever gets down on one knee

and gives you a diamond and that’s not

you know love is beautiful whether it

lasts forever or not I look at you know

we’re back on my loves and even

even those moments where I was like you

know in tears are crying all of my loves

have been beautiful they’ve all been

absolutely amazing and they’ve all been

exactly what they were meant to be

because they brought me to this moment

yeah I mean in in that sense I think you

know like I said it there there is a

part of all of this where I think it’s

important to just respect the process of

it all because I think it’s very common

for people to look at this sort of

destination they forget about the

journey they forget about what the

process means and you know it’s it’s I

think it’s also how important is

communication would you say in its

because it’s you know I think I think

right now with some people you know in

my life people that I’ve encountered

it’s or people that I’ve just you know

bumped into that you know that we we

kind of start talking it seems like

people are

fraid to be vulnerable afraid to express

you know what’s going on with them

because they just don’t want to get hurt

you know I get it I understand but how

important is that aspect of

communicating and expressing your needs

and what your the communication and you

know the vulnerability it ties right

into that sense of self with self love

because if we don’t love ourselves if we

haven’t accepted ourselves there’s no

way that we’re gonna allow ourselves to

be seen by another which really is what

vulnerability is vulnerability is the

act of letting ourselves be seen and so

when we’re looking at these

relationships and we want to move

forward into them and we want to you

know I don’t think there’s a single

person out there who at one point in

their lives or not hasn’t dreamed of

being in some sort of satisfying healthy

relationship in which we’re seen we can

have a great time with somebody and

we’re gonna have great sex so we all

have at one point you know I mean let’s

be honest and so when we’re looking at

that in order to get to that you need to

know who you are first you need to know

who you are it’s just you know no matter

what if you were gonna go to a store

let’s say to human Amazon and you’re

gonna go shopping you need to have money

to go into the store if you’re going

into relationship your currency of self

love and self knowledge and acceptance

that’s your currency so going into that

relationship with your currency of who

you are and knowing about yourself

that’s going to allow you to be

vulnerable because we look at people you

know obviously there’s that sense of

fear but if we accept ourselves for who

we are then there is no fear and whether

someone else is going to accept us or

like us or pay us attention because our

level of love and acceptance isn’t based

on theirs it’s based on ours but when we

lack that fear really becomes kind of

that magnifying glass of how we already

feel about ourselves

we’re only afraid of not being liked of

not having that callback of not being

texted when we actually think there’s a

reason why someone wouldn’t want to text

us back when we’re lacking that

confidence when we’re lacking that

worthiness and then of course when we

have fear then that’s when we start

projecting and kind of you know that

false sense of self like we talked about

a bit ago even though we start mirroring

what we think somebody else wants

instead of being our true self speak

has either we don’t know who that it is

or the thought and that is terrifying to

us yeah and you know it’s so important

because I think I think growth in all

all the senses of of the word that I

know is it’s going to be uncomfortable

it’s going to challenge you it’s going

to demand or ask something new of you

that perhaps you feel that you’re not

ready to face but usually usually the

timing of things and the way that life

kind of unfolds and works out happens in

a very interesting design you know God

works in mysterious ways

so I think Trust is is crucial to the

process and you know really if you’re if

you’re really looking for this and

you’re serious about this and you know

it should be that you’re looking for

yourself because until you find that

aspect of yourself it’s not gonna happen

for you you know other you know in other

ways it might lead you back to yourself

but you’re gonna learn that the hard way

well in the thing that what we end up

learning on this journey because when

you know it’s we set out to try to find

our twin flame and what we end up

finding is actually ourselves and so

that’s what this journey really is and

when we’re on this and when we realize

this I mean I’ve worked with people

there on this journey all of a sudden

then they start wondering do I need a

relationship at all because when you

love yourself when you really feel good

about yourself you’re not in LAC when

you’re not in a relationship so then

there gets to be okay so what is it

about relationship then if we’re no

longer in LAC and the way that I feel

loved is no longer depending on whether

you love me then what then is that

connection what then is that dynamic and

so with the whole you know idea of the

relationship when we do feel that way

about ourselves when we know who we are

then we’re looking at relationship and

we’re able to show up in a different

space which means we’re not looking for

that person to fill our cup we’re not

looking to deplete ourselves by filling

up another person’s because of how they

feel about themselves now you get to

people who are going to feel loved

whether or not they talk on a particular

day if they happen to be busy now you

have two people

we’re gonna feel secure in their

relationship because they already have a

strong sense of self you have two people

who you know are continuously pouring

into each other’s cup who aren’t jealous

because they feel positive about

themselves and then that’s when you get

those really healthy relation that’s

when you do get that twin flame but the

twin flame comes because we find out who

we are and then that whole aspect of you

know how life works out and you know God

works in mysterious ways

it’s interesting because the God working

in mysterious ways is spirit in universe

usually tends to coincide a lot with us

learning our lessons as well I’ve seen

people literally kind of wake up and be

like oh my god what was i doing for five

years of my life like and then within a

month meeting this new person who they

have such a strong soul connection with

who they have such a strong bond with

and so so many times as soon as we learn

that lesson you know I kind of think of

it as like we can’t we kind of keep

leveling up and so when we learn a

particular lesson we’re never gonna go

down we’re never gonna go back but if we

keep going up and up and that’s when

more doors open that’s when all of a

sudden the person that you know we’ve

been helping us out there we meet me

stumble into them at the grocery store

or you know maybe it is someone that we

previously knew in our life and they

come back into it whatever it may be

it’s only because we have found

ourselves we’ve learned the lessons that

are necessary so that we don’t repeat

the past and that’s when the future can

finally come in because God’s not gonna

you can’t work in those mysterious ways

if we haven’t learned those lessons of

honesty of worthiness of integrity of

deserve a we’re only gonna keep being in

those cycles that were meant to why

honestly to learn them yeah and I mean

you really have to be able to close the

door behind you to be able to move

through the one of you and it’s so

important to oh absolutely you know it’s

it’s really important to understand that

you know as as much as you’re willing to

sort of you know let go of what you

think you know you know and and you know

allow this to unfold the way it’s in

full

that’s important and you know you said

something so important there and that’s

that whole idea one of being able to

close the door to your past and number

two being able to let go of what you

thought would be or even what you

thought you wanted because I think one

of the most difficult things and of

course we’re during them you know we’re

doing this sorta Mercury retrograde

right now it’s kind of famous time for

excess to come you know come a-knockin

but one of the hardest things I think

for people to do is they’re like I don’t

want to close the door first of all I

don’t know where this door analogy came

from like there’s actually no door to

our past I mean we have to like pull up

our big-girl pants and boy hands

ourselves and be like no we’re all done

with this in our lives but we always say

this you know we’re gonna close the door

this I think it’s a Buddhist plan yeah I

don’t know I don’t know if you know they

would appreciate recognizing it with

this part but me but anyway so we close

this door on our past and you know what

it really is no one wants to do that

because they’re like well what if and so

we what if ourselves into this complete

state of craziness of not wanting to

actually say goodbye to any exes because

what if they change what if that is my

twin flame what if that is my soulmate

what if that’s who you know what what if

any day of the week but what if that

person really was meant to be with you

they would be with you now and if

they’re not with you right now then

there’s nothing you can do about it and

if it’s gonna happen it’s regardless of

whether we hang on to those strings so

that’s something that’s so important for

us remember when we’re moving through

these love’s there’s no way that we can

actually move in to say that twin flame

relationship if we’re keeping the door

open to our karmic and soulmate just in

case they end up being the person that

we’re meant to be with yeah the universe

is gonna laugh us right out of that

situation and so we have to not be

afraid it seems like you know because we

kind of lack that sense of self and we

all want a great romance we’re afraid

that we’re gonna make a mistake and so

we don’t you know often unless it’s

those real big blowup relationships we

often don’t just cut exes out of our

lives we keep them around we’re we’re

friends with all of them now you know

and so

but that makes things sticky for moving

forward because if we can’t close the

door on our past and I mean as people

get older to things getting things get a

little more complicated so now we have

we have parents of children and

obviously with that we can’t just close

them out of our lives

so it’s transitioning their relationship

from being a parent and partner to won’t

now that person is a co-parent and a

friend hopefully they’re a friend mm-hmm

and so looking at transitioning those

relationships not because that

relationship wasn’t as good as something

that we’re going to have or because it

was bad but because we have to have

peace with our past before moving

forward because there can’t be and you

know we can love someone that we loved

you know years ago or a high school we

aren’t we can love them but we can’t

still have those pangs and those

feelings and think that we’re gonna be

able to move into a new relationship

because we’re not going to be able to

give our heart and our mind that space

to focus on a new person you know

there’s a very big difference of knowing

that we’re gonna love say our first love

for you know the rest of our lives

versus you know checking our exes social

media wondering if they’re still

together so we have to be really mindful

of that and it’s also that part of if

we’re doing something whether it’s

keeping a door to the past open whether

it’s checking in the social media

whatever it may be if it’s not making us

feel good then that’s also a really

great indication that that’s something

that our soul is telling us we should no

longer be doing trust your gut yeah and

I you know and that that checking the X

on the social media

oh that’s stay away from that please

everybody you know there’s Nikola Tesla

talked about the universe operating the

language of the universe being you know

frequency vibration those things and so

when you’re when you’re holding on to a

past experience or your past notion or

idea of something that has an energetic

signature you’re holding on to that

energy and you know sometimes it is the

most beneficial to just let that go it’s

it’s harder than you know it’s easy to

say it’s a simple idea it’s harder to

put into practice but I find that when

you’re in those types of situations

gratitude can be a really good

accelerant so moving forward moving on

forgiveness you know it’s important

maybe you can speak on gratitude

well you’re chained in the vibration

when you’re talking about the vibration

of everything if we’re looking at

something as someone either did us wrong

so that’s right away that’s a sense of

laughs that’s a sense of negativity that

we’re holding on to that we’re building

our love identity around these negative

things that were done to us and these

things that we don’t have and then we’re

looking at now somebody’s not with us so

those are creating this whole idea of

you know this negative low very heavy

dark vibration but when we start looking

at that we’re saying okay I’m so

grateful that I experienced what I was

meant to experience I forgive them for

what what how I was hurt even if their

intention was not to hurt because that’s

the thing too is you know when we’re in

these relationships and they’re ending

or they’re just not working out we often

will put that piece of you made me feel

this way and that’s not accurate because

someone not setting out to make you they

don’t have that power to make you feel

anyway we have to own that our

responsibility so even if we’re feeling

very hurt in a relationship isn’t if

we’re feeling betrayed or lied to or

whatever it may be that person did not

make us feel that way that is our

reaction to the situation so we can

forgive those actions even if we don’t

say it to that person and we can

practice that gratitude and that

gratefulness for where we’re at but what

I have found is that when we’re looking

at that that gratitude and that

gratefulness something that we really

need to have in order to be able to

really successfully do that is hope it’s

really really hard to be grateful for

the really horrible bad things and I’m

talking about I mean I’ve worked with

clients who have been every whichway

lied betrayed you know husbands walk out

and then after years you know

unfortunately sexual assault I’ve had

you know claims go through really

horrendous horrible thing and so to tell

these people we’ll just be grateful for

a tall brain you know can sound really

shallow and hurtful and to itself so

there has to be this balance of hope and

when we think about this idea of hope it

means that you’re looking for

to what could be hope is free from

expectation it’s simply the belief that

something better could and will exist

tomorrow or another day in whatever

capacity it is

hope is essentially a very high

vibrational feeling and it’s light so

when you start having hope again when

you start having hope that maybe you’re

gonna feel healed one day when you start

having hope that maybe you’re gonna love

yourself maybe you’ll feel love from

somebody else you start having hope that

life could be what you want it to be

then you can be grateful and once we can

turn everything that we’ve been through

and reflect it through that lens of

gratitude and reflect it through that

lens of hope then that’s what our sure’s

us into that pure vibrational sense of

love and once we feel that love for us

that’s when those doors for the Twin

Flame relationship open wide Oh wide

open boom yeah love that um you know my

mom used to tell me that hope sustains

life smart lady and Kate we’re we’re out

of time we’ve got a few minutes left

here I mean is there we covered a lot of

stuff I think we did really well as far

as you know covett covering many of the

questions people may have regarding this

phenomenon is there anything that we

didn’t touch on or that you maybe you

wanna you want to talk about maybe wrap

it together if you like go for it I just

really want to emphasize people to be

their own advocates and to look for the

answers themselves don’t take something

as truth if it doesn’t feel like your

truth don’t be afraid to challenge what

other people are saying don’t be afraid

to envision a love that we haven’t even

come up with a label for yet you know

and don’t limit yourself by what you do

read or what somebody else says is

possible we do fall in love with three

people we fall in love three times each

is for a specific reason but there’s

also very many different variations

within that and one of the big key ones

is that love of self so if we want that

amazing healthy incredible love then we

do look within and it’s not that one is

attainable without the other but it’s

it’s gonna be so much more worth it when

we have it and it’s a journey all of

this is a journey it’s one not to be

rushed

but enjoyed so there’s no deadline to

learn how to let ourselves there’s no

deadline to be in that amazing

relationship all we have to do is wake

up every day make the best of it and

enjoy the ride for sure I love that so

much Kate Rose it’s such a I mean such

an amazing this was your first interview

and I think you did so amazing where can

people find where can people find the

book your website oh this book comes out

in in 2020 next year right so yes I

generate 14 20 20 it is available for

pre-order now they can check me out on

my website which is words of Kate Rose

calm the specific book information is

kind of about backslash books but if I’m

there on the center tab there’s numerous

dealers that are already selling it from

Amazon Apple Barnes & Noble indie books

and so you can actually order the

pre-order copy now or wait until after

January to purchase it perfect guys you

heard it here that’s gonna do it for the

show my guest

Kate Rose the book is called you only

fall in love three times he’s a good

read I really love this conversation and

and you would never know that this was

Kate’s first interview first book go

check out the book go pre-order it

otherwise that’s gonna do it for us this

week we will definitely be back next

week a live broadcast your subscribes to

us on YouTube great if you’re not click

the subscribe button so you know when we

go live every week and thank you so much

for being here and listening

you can get over to iTunes subscribe to

us on iTunes goodnight

[Music]