Transcript for Episode 144 – John Assaraf – Goal Setting, Fear conquering, unlocking your brain for success

welcome to the human experience podcast

the only podcast designed to fuse your

left and right brain hemispheres and

feed it the most entertaining and

mentally engaging topics on the planet

as we approach our ascent please make

sure your frontal temporal and occipital

lobes are in their full upright position

as you take your seat of consciousness

relax your senses and allow us to take

you on a journey we are the intimate

strangers thank you for listening ladies

and gentlemen welcome we have planned an

incredible episode for you guys this

evening we are going to be looking at

the mechanisms of how exactly brain

works on a neurological psychological

and physiological level in regards to

creating the life that you want the book

we’re going to be covering is called

inner sighs the new science to unlock

your brains hidden power written by John

Asura our guest for tonight this is

gonna be a highly informative and

entertaining show it’s usually pretty

entertaining around here all right guys

so sit back grab a drink relax and enjoy

this conversation

the human experience is in session my

name is Xavier katana my guest for

tonight is mr. John asaf jah asaf is a

behavioral and mindset expert and New

York Times bestselling author who helps

people realize their potential for

success by working with their brains

rather than against them John is the CEO

and founder of neuro Jim a company that

uses the latest technologies in

scientific research to help you achieve

the success that you want in life

John has built five multi-million dollar

companies Wow and has been featured in

USA Today Forbes The Wall Street Journal

he’s appeared on Larry King The Ellen

DeGeneres Show and in the secret movie

and now the human experience John it is

a pleasure thank you so much for making

the time to be here

welcome to hxp thank you so much and I’m

so excited to be sharing some hopefully

some pearls of wisdom that people can

start to apply in their lives right away

yeah I mean you’ve got such an amazing

story and I’d love to get into that but

I mean briefly why don’t you just tell

us who you are what you do please well

what I do now is very very different

than what I did during my career and

especially when I was younger now I’m

into brain research and designing and

developing programs for people to be

able to strengthen their mindset and

their emotional resiliency and that is

for the sole purpose so that they can

let go of what’s in their way and they

can start achieving more of their goals

and dreams now it didn’t always start

off that way I went to school in

Montreal Canada I hated at left school

in grade 11 and gone to a lot of trouble

with the law and did a lot of unethical

things on professional things and my

life changed in one minute when I

answered one question that was asked to

me by a man that I had never met before

but my brother had arranged for me to

have lunch with him and at the time I

was working in the shipping department

of a computer company making like two

bucks an hour or something like that and

I was miserable selling drugs on the

side to make more money so I could have

fun hmm

and I went to from Montreal Canada to

Toronto Canada to see my brother and

this gentleman for lunch

I took the train and at lunch this man

said to me said like what goals do you

have for your life and I said well I you

know just my goal is to make enough

money this week to be able to you know

buy a little bit of food you know have a

little bit of fun with my friends and

that’s about it that’s my goal

he said well what goal do you have for

you know five years from now ten years

from now 20 years from now and I said to

him his name was mr. Alan Brown I said I

never even thought about it

I’m just living day to day paycheck to

paycheck just trying to make ends meet

and and you know in and then that was it

and so he gave me these documents and he

called them his goal setting got

documents and it asked questions like

what age do you want to retire by how

much net worth do you want to have where

do you want to travel what kind of car

do you want what kind of home do you

want and it was broken up into different

categories for health wealth

relationships career business fun

experiences charity mm-hmm and I had

never ever thought of those things I was

19 years old at the time and so I wrote

down you know a bunch of for the most

part of what I wanted to

achieve cuz I was just using imagination

and and dreaming based on what I’ve seen

on television right and when I when I

gave him the documents he said this is

actually pretty good he said you’ve got

a lot of big goals and dreams and then

he asked me the question that changed my

life and he said to me says he said John

he says are you interested in achieving

these goals or are you committed and I

looked up at him and I said what do you

mean mr. Brown he says well if you’re

interested you’re gonna do what’s easy

and what’s convenient he says if you’re

interested you’re gonna use the story

that you only went to grade 11 in high

school that you’re getting into trouble

with the law that your father went to

grade five your mother went to grade

three and all the other stories and

excuses you’ve been telling me as to why


doing what you’re doing while you’re

getting the results you’re getting he

says if you’re committed however you

will let go of all of your stories and

excuses you will stop around he

says and you’ll develop the beliefs the

knowledge the skills and the habits

required to achieve every one of those

goals and he went on to say I’ve

achieved way more than every one of

those goals that you have there and I

can tell you they’re doable so are you

interested or are you committed and so I

looked at him and I said well not bad

but I guess I guess I’m committed he

says good and the first thing I’d like

you to do is accept my offer to be your

mentor and I go excuse me says accept my

offer to be your mentor sister okay

great I accept these shook my hand it’s

great the next thing I want you to do is

go back to Montreal and move here to

Toronto mm-hmm

I said move to Toronto I don’t know

anybody here I don’t have any money I

don’t have an apartment I don’t have a

car he says are you interested or are

you committed I said well I’m committed

but but he says there’s no buts when

you’re committed so I said okay I’ll

move to Toronto and it says great he

says the next thing I want you to do is

I want you to enroll in the real estate

class that starts on May the 5th this

was April of 1980 just to give people a

perspective and he said I want you to

enroll in the real estate course it

starts on May 5th and I go real estate

course I don’t have any money to go to

go to the real estate course I hate

school I didn’t do well they kicked me

out you know

I’d left in grade 11 he says are you

interested or you commit he says he says

you got to stop this way of behaving I

said but I don’t have any money to

enroll in real estate school he says

we’ll make the commitment first you’ll

figure out how to get the money so I

said fine you know I’ll do it and so

long story short after I said I was

committed after he said he’ll mentor me

after I said I moved to to Toronto from

Montreal not knowing a soul after I

didn’t have money I figured out how to

get the money I moved from Toronto from

Montreal to Toronto my brother let me

stay with him and I enrolled in real

estate school may 5th 1980 I took

classes from 9:00 to 5:00 every day for

five weeks and I remember this like it

was yesterday for

one simple reason on June 20th 1980

I passed my real-estate test and the

reason I remember is because it was the

first time in years I didn’t cheat to

pass a test and so that was the

beginning of understanding the

difference between commitment and

interest and then he started to train me

to teach me to mentor me every day he

had me working to upgrade my knowledge

in my skills and I made thirty thousand

dollars my first year working with him

and to put into perspective my father

who was a cab driver made twenty five

thousand dollars and then he kept

upgrading my knowledge of my skills in

my resolve and my habits and I made a

hundred and fifty one thousand dollars

when I was twenty years old and that was

the beginning of my life’s

transformation is understanding the

power of a decision backed by action

mm-hmm wow that’s true an incredible you

know sort of origin story you know with

this this person Allen that decided to

take you under his wing and and mentor

you you know and and give you that sort

of direction that’s so crucial and and

at such a young age too you’re 19 so I I

mean it could have gone either way for

you right well the answer is yes because

I was either on my way to jail or the

morgue one of my friends had already

died and other one was already in jail

and we were part of a little street gang

that as I mentioned before did things

that you know got us into quite a bit of

trouble and so if I if I imagine where I

was heading it really wasn’t to a good

place and I was picking up speed because

I was getting a little bit older and so

it was getting very very very dangerous

and fortunately for me my brother

introduced me to this man and I accepted

his offer to be mentored by him to get

help mm-hmm okay so you know I’ve got

inner sighs here in my hand

and I read it last night and

you know I’ve underlined it I’ve I just

ripped through it and there’s something

at the very beginning of the book that

you mentioned that that I want to cover

for sure you know in the intro we talked

about how you know you’ve built these

highly successful companies five of them

and you know in the book you mentioned

that the material success was you know

there was a reality to that it wasn’t

everything it would there was a hell to

sort of pay for that I mean can you talk

about more about you know what that’s

that immediate material success led to

for your life yeah it almost killed me

you know sex drugs rock and roll you

know I had money and and I overindulged

in things I worked so many hours when I

was younger my my family had enough

money for a roof over our head and food

on the table but not enough for more and

I always felt less than other kids I

didn’t feel as smart as other kids it

didn’t feel good enough I didn’t feel

worthy enough I didn’t feel smart enough

and so once I started making some money

I started indulging and abusing my

physical body and you know I ended up

with severe ulcerative colitis when I

was 22 years old I ended up you know

drinking way too much alcohol and and

and just really burning the candles on

all ends of the spectrum I I was

divorced twice I’ve been with my wife

Marina for 20 years and and you know

I’ve got two amazing kids but for many

years there it was it was just a life of

excess and I did I didn’t know how to

handle the success and parts of it were

great but other parts of it were very

very challenging nobody had ever taught

me the skill of managing money the skill

of investing the skill of protecting the

skill of using debt properly I was

taught how to

make a lot of money but it really

affected who I was and who I became

until I was able to really get some and

again I’m just been a student of of

learning and and and and trying to learn

as much as I can from other people’s

research other people’s experiences the

the ones that they they love and and our

constructive ones and also the amount of

you know lessons you can learn from the

destructive results that either you get

or somebody else’s had and so I’ve just

been a voracious student for many many

years and sometimes you have to hit

rock-bottom enough in order to climb

back up and although I never hit total

rock-bottom I was getting pretty close

hmm I mean it’s it’s it’s an interesting

story I really you know resounding that

you’ve gone through these highs and lows

and we’re gonna get into inner sighs but

it’s really what what do you think you

know it was for you back then do you

think it was a lack of discipline do you

think it was yeah I mean you mentioned a

little bit but I mean what was what do

you think was the weakest point for you

through that period without question my

self-image I was very very disciplined

and one of the things I talk about in

the book and and I teach is every human

being is 100% disciplined and well

obviously I don’t have disciplines yes

you do you are a hundred percent

disciplined to your thoughts to your

emotions to your behaviors to your

existing results now you may not like

them but don’t confuse them that you are

disciplined to either take action or not

take Cashen to waste time or not waste

time that is a discipline a lot of

people think that disciplines are only

positive disciplines and they’re not you

can have disempowering disciplines you

are disciplined to watch TV for three or

four or five hours a night your

discipline to start a book and not

finish it your discipline whatever

behaviors that are a combination of your

thoughts emotions feelings sensations

behaviors and results that you have you

are 100%

planned to achieve that and the key and

one of the reasons I wrote this new book

about the brain and about really taking

control of it is we have to learn how to

change using the latest brain research

to make change easy or not easy because

it’s not easy but there are ways to make

it easier when you understand a little

bit about the different circuits in the

brain that the turn on or off as a

result of either external or internal

cues then you could be much more

proactive in changing your thoughts or

emotions or behaviors and that is really

what I wanted to share you can have the

best laid plans in the world the

greatest desires goals and dreams in the

world but if you don’t know how to

manage and master your own inner game

you will never achieve those goals for

sure for sure so okay let’s get into it

so inner sighs you know you you talk

about the way that our brains have

evolved and you talk about you know

namely setting versus achieving goals

and it there’s there’s something you

know a difference between how we set and

how we achieve those goals and then you

you relate that to the two different

priorities of our brain and how that

might be sort of interfering with our

attempts at success so what are the two

routes to to this and tell us about sure

so everybody if I can have everybody

who’s listening to us right now just

imagine that you’re part of a band or

were you know an orchestra whichever you

prefer your favorite band or an

orchestra there’s somebody who plays

let’s say the guitar somebody who plays

the piano somebody may play the trumpet

and the piano so let’s say there’s four

members of the group what we know about

the brain is that there are different

parts of the brain that are responsible

for different aspects of whether it’s

emotions whether it’s behavior whether

it’s motivation

whether it’s happiness or sadness

there’s different parts to our brain and

so we know that there’s a part of our

brain called the left prefrontal cortex

or what I prefer to call is the Albert

Einstein part of our brain it’s over

your left eye behind your skull it’s the

LFP left prefrontal cortex and this part

of your brain’s responsibility is to

imagine what you would love to have to

choose this or that and come with all

the reasons why you want it so it is

responsible for that that’s Albert

Einstein now there’s another part of

your brain that I call is Frankenstein

and Frankenstein as soon as Albert

Einstein has all of these great ideas

Frankenstein’s responsibilities to go

into your memory bank and say okay hey

every time you have thought about this

or every time you’ve read about this or

have seen this you know what could go

wrong what what pain looms you know just

in front of you like could you get

physically hurt could you get

emotionally hurt could you get

financially hurt could you get

spiritually hurt and so Frankenstein

brings up almost in nanoseconds all the

reasons why you shouldn’t go ahead so

imagine Albert Einstein’s got his foot

on the gas but Frankenstein’s got his

foot on the brake and you want to

achieve these goals and you’re wondering

why the F am I not taking action why am

i procrastinate inand the answer is

because you haven’t gotten Frankenstein

to set aside to allow Albert Einstein

and the motor cortex in the motivational

center of your brain to activate the

behavior necessary in order to achieve

that goal and then even when you do

think of doing that you move

Frankenstein over to the side another

part of your brain says hey but what

happens if you do this and you fail then

will you be embarrassed we be ashamed

will you be ridiculed will you be judged

by your sibling mother brother sister

co-worker and as soon as the fear center

activates then

oh you know what maybe I should just go

get an ice cream or watch Netflix show

that I really want let me let me be safe

there and so there’s several different

parts of our brain that we know will

work for us and others that activate to

protect us and so when we understand the

hierarchy of the brain the evolution of

this organism your brain is not an organ

it’s a living breathing developing

organism and what I mean by that is this

number one for this organism is safety

above all else right so if there is

anything that you’re thinking of doing

or want to do and there’s any type of

potential or real danger breaks go on

stress levels go up and so safety first

second is energy conservation so if what

you want to do requires additional

energy that is different than your

habitual way of being breaks go on again

because your brain doesn’t want to use

this energy so you have to override the

fear center or stress center you have to

override this energy conservation center

and the way you do that is now you bring

online the emotional center the limbic

part of our brain which is the second

part of our brain to develop and you go

okay yes I know that there is some

potential danger yes I know that’s gonna

require energy and then when you ask

yourself why must I achieve this like

why must I like what will happen to me

if I don’t who will I become if I don’t

what will I feel if I don’t what if I

don’t give this my best shot so you can

use negative consequences of not taking

action and then you can shift your

emotion okay now when I do take action

anaya I grow I become more I learn I

evolve I achieve some successes then is

that what I want and when the answer is

yes yes yes

we start to override this protective

mechanism in our brain and the motor

cortex starts to rev up its engines and

the nucleus accumbens and and insulin

the brain the dopamine feel-good

neurochemicals activate and then we get

a little burst of adrenaline with

dopamine and we start taking action then

holy it’s exciting it’s scary at

the same time but now we’re in action

doing the thing that scares us doing the

thing that maybe is a little bit risky

but to do all of this you have to use

the one key that every human has access

to but very few practice and that’s

awareness is awareness of my thoughts

awareness of my results and what causes

them awareness of my emotions that are

triggering these feelings that I don’t

know what to do with hmm and when we

become aware of thoughts emotions

feelings sensations and behaviors or

lack of behavior then we can shift and I

call that any way then we can shift into

what is it that I really really want to

do do I want to retreat into safety do I

want to procrastinate do I want to be

afraid my whole life or do I want to

step into my potential and my greatness

in my abilities and almost every person

I want to do the latter I want to step

into my greatness can you show me how

and then we can say great of course we

can show you how because every single

result that every person that’s

listening to right now wants to achieve

somebody’s already done it so the how-to

is the least of your problems

interesting yeah I love the way that you

spelled that out there’s a lot to unpack

there yeah you know from what I

understand it it’s it’s almost as if

your brain is wired to keep you in the

sense of a comfortable place you know

it’s it’s a defense mechanism it’s a

survival mechanism and that’s how we are

wired so you know what we like when we

put ourselves into

this place of risk or into this place of

something new when we’re moving outside

of our comfort zone it becomes like this

sort of trigger you know it triggers

this fear and that is a wall that we

just sort of slam into so you know using

my analogy how do we get past how do we

train our brains to sort of see that

wall understand that wall and then get

past it

sure so the first inner size that I

teach in the book

has a lot to do with the sympathetic and

parasympathetic nervous system in the

brain so when we’re under stress and our

brain identifies stress as anytime we’re

out of our comfort zone so just to give

people a visual imagine that you’re the

room that you’re in or the car that

you’re in while you’re listening there’s

a temperature setting for whatever you

set it at 70 degrees 68 degrees 72

degrees or 22 degrees Celsius depending

where you are in the world let’s say you

have it at a certain setting that’s the

comfort zone that is set anytime there’s

a deviation if there’s hot air or cold

air that comes into that room or

environment the electrical system ok

sends a signal it’s called a cybernetic

mechanism there’s a there’s there’s a

signal that is sent to the nervous

system to either turn on the air or turn

on the heat because the comfort zone has

been penetrated and so whenever we step

out of our comfort zone our signal goes

off as well like a light on a dashboard

of a car our signal just goes off and it

goes off in the way that most people

aren’t used to dealing with in that is

in the form of a feeling so when our

signal goes off we’ll usually feel a

little bit anxious

epinephrine cortisol or norepinephrine

has been released into the bloodstream

as a signal that you are out of your

comfort zone it could be financial

comfort zone emotional comfort zone it

could be a guy wanted to a COAG rule to

you have a drink with him at a bar or

vice-versa for a girl to a guy or a guy

to a guy and girl to girl of course so

anytime we’re in our

out of our comfort zone this automatic

release of neuro chemicals is sent

through our bodies now the average

person tries to suppress them or

distract themselves from these feelings

as opposed that they run away so inner

sighs number one is to calm the circuit

from the sympathetic nervous system the

stress and reactive circuit in the brain

to the calm and responds circuit in the

brain so the greatest gift we have is

awareness and awareness gives us choice

but most people have not practiced their

awareness skill but they know how they

feel so the first lesson that I teach

people the first inner sighs is if you

just stopped and took six deep breaths

in through your nose slowly and then out

through your mouth as if you’re blowing

through a straw for six seven eight

seconds really really slowly just six

breaths deactivates that stress reactive

center in your brain so that is step one

so why don’t we do why don’t we do that

right now let’s do it everybody all

right yeah really how about ever yeah

please everyone that’s listening why

don’t you you know participating we can

do that right now

perfect so it doesn’t matter if you’re

driving or you’re just sitting at your

desk stop whatever you’re doing except

driving all right and take a deep breath

slowly in through your nose your eyes

can be open it’s perfect or closed and

then as you’re breathing it out through

your mouth gently gently gently pucker

your lips like you’re blowing it out

through a straw and just focus on the

airflow going out of your lips and then

breathe in again and then out slowly

slowly slowly and just feel how calm

you’re getting and let’s do that two

more times breathe in through your nose

and out through your mouth at your own

pace the slower the better and the more

focused you can have on the inflow

coming in through your nose and the

outflow going through your mouth is if

you’re blowing out through a straw

the quicker you deactivate the stress

and reactive state so what happens is

when we are stressed out or fearful or

worried or anxious or in panic the first

thing we want to do is deactivate the

stress Center because it shuts down the

thinking center of the brain we can see

in fMRI studies functional magnetic

resonance imaging studies blood flow

leaving the thinking imagination genius

part of your brain away from there to

the stress centers of your brain so the

first thing we want to do is let’s get

calm so we can choose and respond so in

this calm relaxed state you bring on

that Einstein part of your brain back on

line and then if you do inner sighs

number two it’s called

aya AI a okay and aya stands for

awareness awareness of what are my

thoughts feelings sensations and what

have my behaviors been or what are my

behaviors right now

and is this what I want are these

thoughts emotions feelings sensations

behaviors going to move me towards the

goals that I want to achieve or away

from them or am I gonna be recreating

the exact same goals as I have for the

last month three months six months

twelve months or am i focusing on the

new goals that I want and when you’re

doing this under size of awareness you

must and I repeat you must do it without

judgment blame shame guilt or

justification no judgment blame shame

guilt or justification just pure

awareness because what we’re actually

experiencing is history

we’re looking at what happened before

we were aware and that gives us an

insight to the eye because the eye in

aya is now what’s my intention now that

I am aware

well my intention is to be happy my

intention is to be refocused on my goals

my intention is to take action and go

and ask that girl you know if she’d like

to chat a little bit my intention is to

leave my job and find one that I love my

intention is to start this bhisma

tension is to write this book my

intention is to finish this paper my

intention is fill in the blank and then

the only thing you need to do next which

is the third a or the second day in Iowa

ia is what is one small easy step you

can take towards that intention not

what’s five steps not ten not three one

and the reason we want to do one is we

don’t want to reactivate the fear or

emotional center in our brain that may

cause us to revert back to our comfort

zone what we want to do is start to

become more aware we want to start

setting our intentions deliberately and

then we want to develop the habit of

taking the actions we know will help us

achieve our goals deliberately so that

we develop this new habitual pattern of

being in control and what happens is

when you develop this neuro muscle of

self confidence of awareness of

intention and of behavior then you are

able to achieve every goal that you want

to achieve okay okay so John let’s it

let’s rewind a little bit you know and

I’m getting some feedback about the

exercise and and one of the questions

and something I’m wondering as well you

know like when you’re in that panic

state it’s sometimes difficult to really

slow down because everything seems like

it’s moving so fast it’s it’s general

sometimes to remember to just you know

stop and breathe it’s something that’s

simple you know so how can we kind of

train ourselves to be better

at you know in the moment great

direction great questions so I want you

to imagine that you want to become a

Navy SEAL just pretend for just a moment

you want to become a Navy SEAL well sure

you have to have the physical stamina

and abilities of course you do but you

also have to have the emotional and the

mental abilities too right mm-hmm well

what if I shared with everybody that’s

listening right now that awareness is a

skill you can get better at managing

your emotions are skills you can get

better at focusing your mindset is a

skill you can get better at and the

reason I’m using the Navy SEALs as an

example is many years ago when the Navy

SEALs were putting people through the

Navy SEAL training there was one part of

the training that most Navy SEALs failed

and that was their final test when they

went underwater fully geared up with all

of their scuba equipment with three

instructure instructors who shut off

their air played with their mask pulled

their BC unit off of them if they could

took the regulator’s out of their mouths

and basically what happens in a state of

panic you just bolt right up to the top

of the water sure and as a Navy SEAL or

an astronaut or a firefighter or a

police officer you can’t do that because

not only will you die but other people

may die and what they realized was that

when they panicked

most people will divert back to their

training so they trained these Navy

SEALs before their final test on how to

have mental and emotional control so

that when they felt this incredible

surge to panic and bolt up to the top of

the surface they would actually start to

breathe and calm themselves down now

they started to practice this every day

they started to practice a little bit of

breathing and awareness every hour for

two or three or four minutes they used

contrasting a technique that we teach in

our book inner size where you can

actually put yourself in the most

stressful situations in your mind feel

the surge of that cortisol and

epinephrine and norepinephrine and then

calm yourself down and if you just took

three minutes or two minutes every hour

to practice and to become more aware you

would build this neural muscle of

awareness you would build this neuro

muscle of control you’d build this

neuron muscle of focus you’d build this

neuron muscle of confidence and then

you’d be able to do it for yourself now

I’ll share a story with you that may

help my wife just had her unfortunately

second back surgery in six months six

weeks ago and there was a complication

when they did one of the procedures and

about 30 days ago after the the third

surgery was done she had to have two

surgeries and one she panicked here at

the house and I was in a meeting in my

home office with somebody she’s hey

honey can you come upstairs I need to

talk to us a sweetheart cannot wait she

goes no honey I need to go to the

hospital right now

and when I walked upstairs her eyeballs

looked like they were coming out of her


and she says I need to go to the

hospital right now I said okay great do

you trust me she goes yes then look

straight into my eyes and breathe with

me just six breaths and then I’ll talk

to you she goes okay so we did the six

breaths she went from a level ten panic

take me to the hospital right now down

to an eight seven six five at five I

said what’s going on she told me that

she couldn’t feel her left leg she

thought that maybe her she had a blood

clot I said great let’s do another six

breaths we did that by the time we got

to three and two she was calm enough for

us to call the doctor who did the

surgery and why am i sharing this I’m

sharing this because first you learn how

to do it for yourself and you can do it

with others this is all about emotional

control we don’t get into a panic state

unless our brain has run

away with what if questions and loops so

what if I have a blood clot what if I

die what if I get into an accident what

if I fall what if I break my leg what if

I lose this we don’t get into panic

before we’re in a state of anxiety so

when we’re in a state of anxiety we

could become aware of our feelings but

you have to practice becoming aware of

these feelings the only thing that a

feeling tells us is that our emotional

Center has released a chemical so we can

have feelings of happiness sadness shame

guilt fear all it tells us is there is a

neurochemical reaction that’s happened

some of it I love others I just don’t

like this feeling and left unchecked it

exacerbates from anxiety to treat panic

right and so panic doesn’t go from zero

I mean listen if you are on an airplane

like just happened a few days ago on one

of the Delta flights and it dropped

thirty thousand feet in less than six

minutes you are going into panic unless

you’re the pilot who’s been trained

under those circumstances okay okay so

so you know the way that I was imagining

this was kind of being at the gym you

know like you’re you’re not instantly

going and lifting heavy weights you’re

slowly building up to that point and so

so to me you know it’s like before you

get into that state of panic or even

anxiety you’re practicing these these

techniques before that happens and

you’re training yourself to bring

yourself back to Center your breathing

you’re using this circuit right

absolutely I mean if you think about

what do what do all professional

athletes and musicians do before

performance time the practice is well

when did we learn as humans to practice

getting connected to our awareness

muscle our emotional muscles our

feelings when did we pract

if you asked a Hollywood actor or

actress to change from one emotional

state to another could they do it I

would say yes yeah in a nanosecond

because they’ve practiced thousands and

thousands and thousands of times we

haven’t been taught what are our core

emotions what are the ones you know that

that motivate us to take actions what

are the ones that hold us back

why what’s happening in my brain that’s

causing this disempowering state that I

don’t want to take action on a goal that

I want to achieve right there’s there’s

something going on in the brain between

the goal and the behavior and what we

are missing and lacking is an

understanding of here’s what’s going on

here’s why it’s perfectly normal

here’s what to do about it so that I

have more control I have more personal

power and I’m able to take action and do

the things that I know I should be doing

and could be doing and I actually want

to do to enhance my life at every level

I mean it seems like fear is such a big

part of this such a big part of that

that first wall and when you mention the

Saints in those four things go ahead you

know the obstacles go ahead and talk

about that well there’s 50 different

types of known fears there’s actually

more but 50 main fears that every one of

us deals with on a regular basis but the

four things that hold us back is let’s

say let’s say you have a goal to make an

extra $5,000 a month or a hundred

thousand dollars a month or you want to

write a book or start a business or

leave a job or a person that you’re not

happy in with so there are four things

that will usually get in our way it’s

either one of four to a four three or

four it could be four or four so number

one whenever we want to achieve

something it always is gonna get bounced

against our self-worth neuro muscle do I


believe deep down that I deserve that do

I deserve that raise do I deserve that

job I deserve to have a successful

business do I deserve that

body do I deserve to lose weight and

keep it off and draw attention to me do

I deserve it and if the answer is yes

then we’re good on that one but if there

is any uncertainty right if there’s any

uncertainty I don’t know if I really

deserve that if there’s any uncertainty

we trigger the fear center and the fear

center is if I go after it and I achieve

it and then I fail then I’m gonna

disappoint myself and I might be

embarrassed ashamed ridiculed or judged

so why the hell even try Yeah right

so so that could be a circuit that’s

activated that deactivates motivation we

just don’t do and we’re not even aware

that we’re not doing it because of those

reasons let’s say we want to achieve a

goal and we have a fear of failure

because we haven’t learned that failure

is feedback versus failure is me and my

identity so when we haven’t learned how

to frame fear in a positive way or

failure in a positive way excuse me

then failure may have a negative

connotation in our subconscious mind and

why the hell would I want to feel the

emotions of failure and disappoint

myself or my spouse or brother or sister

or mother or father or business partner

I don’t want to fail because I have a

negative meaning to it what if I have a

fear of succeeding and losing my friends

or succeeding and then failing what if I

have a fear of being judged what if when

I was a kid I got up in class and

answered a question and I gave the wrong

answer and a few of my friends who I

played with in the schoolyard ridiculed

me for getting the wrong answer do you

really think I want to step up in a team

meeting and give an answer no no no

and so self-esteem Southworth is one

fear is another one

what about limiting beliefs

what about if well I’m too young to do

that I’m too old to do that I’m too

Asian or Caucasian do you know the small

town that I live in do you know how old

I am it’s too late for me to do this so

when we have limiting beliefs now they

are the lens by which we see the world

now they are the drivers of what we do

or don’t do because we are driven more

by our beliefs than we are than by our

desires and so if I have limiting

beliefs why would I ever override a

limiting belief if I don’t have a

structure for understanding the beliefs

and fears and self-esteem are nothing

more than patterns in our brain that

have been reinforced from the time we

are born till now and that we can

actually change the neural networks and

Pattison deactivate limiting beliefs

deactivate disempowering habit

deactivate self-esteem issues deactivate

the disempowering patterns using the new

science of neuroplasticity and we could

be deliberate we could be conscious and

we could be aware of how to do that now

I’m being empowered and I can let go of

the stuff that does not serve me anymore

we are in an era right now where we can

have so much more power because we own

the most powerful tool in the known

universe your brain but it did not come

with a user’s manual and and that’s why

I wrote inner sighs is because I’ve been

studying this for many many many years

and using it in my own life and in the

lives of tens of thousands of students

of mine around the world that have

participated our proxy hundreds of

thousands and so we we now know how to

let go of traumas we know how to let go

of disempowering fears we know how to

activate motivation we know how to feel

better about ourselves we know how to

release depression or suppression that’s

holding us back we couldn’t be alive at

a better time in our history hundred and

seven billion inhabitants of Earth and

we get to bring forth everything we’ve


– right now the question you know I’m

gonna come back to you are you are you

merely interested in having a wonderful

life or are you committed because all

the how-to is available to you now

mm-hmm yeah I mean it’s it’s resounding

and I think everyone listening you know

I’m getting so many messages of people

talking about how much this is all

resonating for them and for me as well I

you know I I get this way too and you

know I think do you think John that it

also has to do with you know this sort

of creation mechanism of imagined fear

in that like the the challenge between

what is real and this sort of

imagination part of our brain that is

blowing out of proportion you know what

could happen well of course our brain is

a predictive machine it’s consistently

predicting what could happen in the

future with the veil of safety first

right so think about this a baby on the

20th floor of a hotel if the windows

open does the baby know that it

shouldn’t crawl out the window the

answer is no because it has zero

references now an adult knows that

because they’ve read about it seeing it

heard it somehow some way maybe on

television or in newspapers and so you

cannot be afraid of what you don’t have

a reference for in your brain mm-hmm so

our brain is consistently the

bio-computer between your ears is

consistently checking and bouncing 400

billion bits of information per second

from the outside world against what is

in the memory bank within your neural

circuits trillions of neural circuits in

nanoseconds billions of seconds to check

and balance information up to half a

second before you’re even aware of it to

let you know is there real or imagined

potential danger there right and

it sends you the signal anytime either

one of those is met with a possibility

in your brain now the signal is made for

you to be aware not for you to stop and

retreat and move back into safety if you

keep doing that you will never have

control and if you never have control

then you will never be able to give

yourself a command and follow through to

completion at a very high level

you’ll always be managed by your fears

and your emotions instead of you using

your emotions to propel you forward you

can actually take the neuro chemistry of

fear and use it as fuel hmm yeah but

you’re like a Segway artist I exactly

whatever where I was gonna go to next is

you know just shifting this and my

favorite part in your book was when you

know you talk about the five shifts of

inner sighs and you talk about using

fears as fuel for change beliefs as

empowering empowering stories using your

mindset please continue what we can say

well whenever I feel fear now I have

learned that my brain is just giving me

a signal to be aware of and while that

signal is going through my body right in

the form of neuro chemicals or

electrical neuro chemicals I can

actually use that extra energy to move

towards my goal right after I’ve

analyzed is this fear real or imagined

and I have I mitigated the risk that may

be present so when you feel fearful or

when you’re aware that you keep

procrastinating and you’ve taken the

time to go why am i procrastinating you

know am i afraid of failing am i afraid

of being embarrassed like why am i purr

crashing I’m procrastinating there’s

only three reasons we procrastinate

one is decisional which means I just

don’t know what to do so I have

uncertainty and self-doubt which is

kicked in my fear center which means I’m

not going to take action okay so

decision so what do I need to learn

whose help do I need in order to know

what steps I need to take great Thank

You brain you’ve just done a great job

for me to make me aware that it’s

decisional the other one is arousal

there are some people who don’t take

action because they get aroused and do

it at the last minute so that is another

reason people may not take acts arousal

decisional and the other one has to do

with self esteem self worth and and not

believing that we deserve it right and

so is the fear triggered because I

really don’t believe that I can or that

I deserve it

and if that’s the case then I could say

okay is this really true or is this an

old pattern from my childhood that’s

rearing its ugly head or even from my

teens or or even beyond that that’s

rearing its ugly do I really not deserve

this am I really gonna allow the fear of

failure to hold me back if the answer is

yeah I’m gonna allow that to hold me

back so then you say great what do I

need to do in order to mitigate the risk

okay right then I can start to use my

higher cortical functions of thinking

instead of reacting now a lot of people

confuse thoughts with thinking you have

fifty thousand random thoughts a day

eighty ninety percent of which are

disempowering negative ones now they’re

just coming up from your memory bank

percolating up like little bingo balls

you know percolating up in those little

machines they just pop pop pop pop pop

and you can learn the skill of just

being aware of them and letting them go

being aware them letting them go be

aware them letting them go and then

choosing the thoughts that you want but

when a

serious thought pops up that could have

either positive or disempowering

ramifications then in a calm relaxed way

you can actually think is this real is

this imagined is there real danger here

or is this imagined danger because of my

past from my mother father sister

brother and uncle or whatever right yeah

now we’re now we’re elevating our

humanity and our abilities and I know

some of this sounds complex and it’s

complex if maybe it’s the first or

second time you’ve heard about it

but once you start to say okay I have a

brain I’m not my brain I can use my

brain my brains an organism just like I

have a hand I have lungs in the heart

except it’s an organism it’s mine how do

I start using my brain better how do I

upgrade my awareness how do I become

more aware of my thoughts and my

emotions and my behaviors my habits and

how do I deliberately start to

strengthen my self-discipline my my

belief systems my habitual way of being

and that’s that’s just that skill

building yeah and there’s there’s so

much that we covered about the actual

awareness part and yeah you know let’s

get into the intention and then the

action part because I think that’s a

huge part of it I mean yes okay we’re

going to have these fears and then

eventually you’re going to overcome them

either you know either you’re going to

or they’re going to overcome you but

eventually hopefully you’re gonna get to

that point where you’re just going to

get tired of being afraid right and

you’re going to start to want to do

you’re going to do something about it so

how do we get to a point where we’re

starting to take action on those goals I

want to backtrack for just a second or

something you said okay and that is this

you are never ever ever ever ever gonna

stop being afraid when you get out of

your comfort zone

so just remember fear is a safety

mechanism that’s there to serve you not

stop you so what happens is you become

unafraid for the nest next task at hand

the next goal that you achieve and then

that becomes your new comfort zone so no

differently than if you’re a diver you

know you might start diving you know off

the edge of the pool then you go to the

small diving board then you go up to the

next diving board the next one the next

one the next one every time you go to a

new level

right the fear center kicks in and you

just go okay thank you I know what this

is that’s perfect so that’s number one

that makes so much sense yeah so number

two the visual I want everybody to have

is this what are three simple easy steps

you can take towards any goal you have

not ten not seven

give me three that you can say okay this

is a little bit uncomfortable but I can

do it okay so a lot of times people are

looking for how am I gonna do all of

this right that would be the equivalent

of me taking you know 50 people that are

listening right now saying okay I’m

gonna teach you how to become a high

diver and we’re gonna go up to you know

a hundred feet and we’ll go okay let’s

start here I don’t have a hundred people

running away yeah but if I said you know

all hundred of you let’s jump into the

pool and if you don’t feel comfortable

jumping in the pool can you sit on the

edge and then get in and if you don’t

know how to swim let me put a lifejacket

on you then let’s get in and if you

don’t feel comfortable that let me get

two instructors and a life jacket and a

buoy to get you into the water if I

start you with just getting out of your

comfort zone a little bit I have

stretched your abilities and if I can

repeat this with you for a hundred days

now here’s the magic the magic number

every one it’s actually 66 but I use a

hundred all the latest brain research

shows that it takes about 66 days to

create a new pattern in the brain that

becomes a comfortable new pattern that

starts to work

without you even thinking about it so if

I want to lose weight for example and

keep it off if I want to make more money

if I want to become better in sales if I

want to be better at communication or

speaking or whatever the case might

might be if I can just do a little bit

for a hundred days I will deactivate

phase one of my fear center now you can

usually deactivate it way faster than

that but you can get comfortable with it

with a hundred days of a little bit of

practice so all so there’s no action

small enough so even if you can take a

little bit of a step towards that goal

even as if it’s small

that is something yes sort it anything

that is gonna get you out of your

current habitual way of being is what

you want to do and so you start off

small if you want to start flossing your

teeth and you just haven’t done it start

with flossing one tooth every day if you

want to start exercising you can start

with just getting your running shoes and

put it next to your bed and do nothing

other than that and then put your

running shoes on and then just go for a

walk in your apartment or a house and

then just go outside the habit is more

important than the intensity at first

and the science of habits is that

whatever you do consistently and

repeatedly with spaced repetition is the

new habit that starts to develop that

overrides a habit that’s used to

activating automatically without thought

so we can build empowering habits that

override disempowering ones or weaker

ones so you’re repeating the behavior

however small add it on to maybe your

already existing habits until it becomes

something that you’re used to and normal

for you absolutely so you can start for

example let’s say you have a self-esteem

issue where you really don’t feel your

deserving enough if you just wrote out

an affirmation that went something like


I’m so happy and grateful for the fact

that I am now starting to feel worthy of

the success I want I’m so happy and

grateful for the fact that I am now

starting to feel worthy of the success

that I want and if you just read that

and looked in the mirror put it up on

your mirror in your bathroom and do

something that I call brush and Prime so

as you’re brushing your teeth just read

it and just see if you could just accept

it and you might have a hard time

believing it the first day the fifth day

the 10th day the 20th day the thirtieth

day but by the time 30 60 90 days come

of you just reading it and then maybe

even starting to feel it a little bit

you’ll have imprinted that little

affirmation or declaration by reading it

feeling it and seeing it for a hundred

days into your subconscious mind and

then all of a sudden you’re gonna notice

that oh wow you know what I’m feeling a

little bit better about myself so we can

use words we can use emotions we can use

visual aids we can use a variety of

different methodologies to take

something that isn’t true or real right


and we can impress it into our

subconscious mind and start fertilizing

that seed and it’ll start to grow some

roots and it’ll start to connect to

other networks in your brain and then

all of a sudden you’ll start having more

positive thoughts around hey I do

deserve this hey I do want this hey I do

have a little bit more confidence so we

can start with things that are as simple

as affirmations like looking in the

mirror and saying I love you I mean if

you don’t believe it initially say it

for a hundred days I promise you you

will start to feel like well you know

what I love you at least you’re doing

this I love you you know what you’re

really kind to animals you know I love

you you’re really a sweet person you’re

really a caring person so just let me

let me bump you and I apologize for it

okay so let me give you a real

old you know sample sized example okay

you know we uh we have a community set

up and there’s I don’t I don’t know like

eight or nine hundred people in the

community and we have this this section

where we do this you know daily

breathing exercise that we do for a

month and what I’ve found after running

the you know running the challenge for

you know a couple times now is that

people get to the middle point or even

maybe a third of the way through and the

novelty of it wears off and it just

becomes arduous and taxing to do it’s

the simplest thing ever

you take three minutes it takes two

minutes to do this exercise you’re just

breathing but you know there’s something

about the I don’t know can you clarify

please why that might be a wall that

people are hitting so what happens is

when we repeat something too often the

novelty wears out and our brain loves

novelty our brain loves challenge in all

of the brain training programs that I’ve

designed for professional athletes for

corporations for individuals for clients

all over the world every week we switch

it up so we give them something to do

for a week that’s repetitive for seven

days and then we go okay let’s level it

to something different similar but

different so now they’re learning

something new now they can get excited

about something new now it’s novel now

it’s fun and so when we can switch it up

it’s okay to breathe let’s say for 30

straight days for three minutes each day

but if it were me I’d say we’re gonna

breathe for three minutes for week one

for week two we’re gonna do a different

breathing exercises and here’s the

benefit of that one for week three

here’s a different one and here’s the

benefit of that one for week four here’s

the benefit of that one and collectively

when you put it all together here is the

big prize

so now you’ve developed self


now you’ve upgraded your abilities blah

blah blah blah blah and so when people

get bored peep

check out hmm and that’s when we say

when people get bored when brains get

bored brains check out and so our job as

the leaders the instructors is to keep

people engaged right it’s our job to

keep people engaged and it’s our job to

understand how their brains function

it’s our job to do that and so when we

start to mix and match things when we

cause engagement fun experiences etc

then we can get people more committed to

the outcome mm-hmm I mean it’s an

interesting process because there’s so

many different layers you know like the

brain is almost like an onion and each

time you I could have you know peel off

a layer there’s another layer that you

kind of have to address or you know

establish some sort of rapport with and

I mean I love your analogy of the the

diving boards and this sort of set of

fear and that fear being a sort of

constant you know and it was a constant

it as a survival mechanism it makes

sense it fits in the larger perspective

of things so you know let’s talk about

gratitude because this was a big part of

your book and something that I believe

in a lot I mean I I do my best to

practice this every day so let’s talk

about how important what’s going on

neurologically when we add gratitude to

all this this whole process

sure so we know whenever we think of you

know a person a place a thing that we’re

grateful for the first thing that’s

happening is we’re activating the

dopamine transmission in our brain so

the dopamine neurotransmitters in our

brain causes us to feel good when we

feel good or happy when we’re happy

guess what we do we’re really good with

other people with pets with things that

we want to do so whenever we’re talking

about gratitude the neural circuitry of

gratitude is said to be connected to the

neural circuitry of your spiritual self

the higher functioning part of who you

are and and so when we are in gratitude

of life of breathing of waking up of

friends brothers sisters co-workers an

event that took place the sunshine the

clouds the the air that we can breathe

the oxygen and nitrogen and carbon and

and and you know the other elements in

air we are activating dopamine we’re

activating serotonin if we share it with

somebody else then we’re activating

oxytocin the bond oxytocin the bonding

neuro chemical in our brain and so when

we feel good guess what we do we share

that goodness with others whether it’s

in a smile in an act of kindness we are

motivated we want to achieve more we

want to become more we want to have more

and and that is really you know one of

the best things that you can do we want

to do more things that make us feel good

mm-hmm and we want to do less of what

makes us feel bad we move away from

things that are you know make us feel

bad we move towards things that make us

feel good so why not start and end every

day in gratitude you know every morning

when you wake up there are people that

didn’t sure right every day

that you put your feet on the ground

somebody didn’t and so why not start

with holy

I’m alive Wow thank you right right and

so let’s start off with a gratitude that

at the end of the day you know what are

you grateful for for the day what work

what lessons did you learn from the

things that didn’t what can you what can

you be grateful for you know if you wake

up tomorrow so there’s always something

to be grateful for and what happens is

the you know everybody knows this and

then that you know we are all made up of

energy and all this energy is

interconnected even though we may not

see it because we have these hundred

trillion cells or coalesced into the

sentient being called a human with a

name and a body right this is that’s we

call as you whenever we are in this

state of gratitude we are affecting this

quantum field that we are all in and a

part of so when we’re in a state of

gratitude and we have activated a

hundred trillion cells in our body that

feel the oscillation and the vibration

of the neuro chemistry of gratitude

we’re actually sending a ripple effect

into the field like when you drop a rock

in in a pond

it doesn’t stop where the rock is

dropped there’s a ripple effect across

the pond and that’s also known as the

butterfly effect and so when we are in

the state of gratitude yes we feel good

and we’re that rock but other people can

feel things even when words aren’t

spoken and so if we are in this quantum

field of energy and we can augment the

vibrational essence of who we are just

with gratitude we’re not the only ones

who benefit mmm-hmm yeah I mean that’s

so resounding I love that so much I love

how you sort of tease the spiritual

aspect of this because that that’s a big

part of my life and I think

I think the crowd of people who listen

to hxp I mean it’s it’s a big part of

their lives as well so you know let me

let’s let’s go there let’s go a little

bit deeper on that if we can let’s you

know let’s talk about that connection to

our spiritual selves you know and I mean

are you are you someone who believes in

and you know destiny or fate uncertain

I believe in universal intelligence and

everything happens and unfolding exactly

how it should and that you and I and our

greatest gift is choice okay so I know

that there is order in the universe and

I also know that there’s randomness in

the universe and so I’ve had way too

many experiences to prove otherwise for

me now when we talked about you know the

spiritual intelligence you know when I

look outside and I sit on my deck and I

look at the ocean and I sometimes can

see the moon you know out and the Sun

out and I’m on planet earth and we are

spinning a dizzying speeds around our

own axis once every 24 hours and around

the Sun once every 365 days as the Milky

Way galaxy is traveling across space and

time at 70,000 miles per hour as the

other planets you know are are moving

around this Sun as well I can’t help but

think that there’s this unimaginable

intelligence that makes it all work in

perfect order and harmony and that

intelligence is in me because it created

me so no differently than you know when

you go to the ocean if you took a bucket

of water out of the ocean you took it

5,000 miles inland what you have is some

of the ocean

water sure and so if this intelligence

you know my mother’s egg and my father’s

sperm vibrating packets of energy called

quanta came together and through the law

of transmutation of energy and gestation

I know I was created and within me is

all of the you know the intelligence

since the beginning of time yeah we’re

all pretty spiritual that intelligence

is within us and and the more I can

remember that not only is it within me

and within you it is you it is me what

do you call it I don’t care water in in

English is water in French it’s low in

Hebrew it’s mine in Japanese it’s a

different name but it’s the same thing

so the name is really irrelevant what

makes it all work you know the you know

we have somehow evolved to be the most

advanced physical representation of this

spiritual intelligence that we’re aware

of right now and so why not honor and

love and respect yourself knowing that’s

what you are and that’s what every human

being is and every plant and animal is

it was created from the source that it

does it all yeah I mean how could

anything else be true and I think if you

know I think if you study quantum

physics I mean time and time again this

is being proven true you know that

everything is linked everything is

connected and you know if you really

examine this it does you know start to

fit the picture of you know what we’re

talking about today and you know I want

to talk about if we have time John if we

could talk about you know you know

sometimes it feels

like we’re you know is here to learn a

specific lesson and maybe those lessons

evolve and change through our lives

right so you know what if we are

responding to those lessons in different

ways and how can we you know how can we

learn to adapt to that you know possible

fear response when those lessons and our

lives come up does that make sense I’m a

little confused so I don’t I’m saying

I’m saying that you know let’s say that

there’s there’s something that life is

trying to teach you a next level a part

of your growth that you’re trying to

level up and that part of your growth is

in it’s it’s creating a fear response in

you sure okay got it

so I I believe and have this you know

philosophy and I’ve written about this

in my other my other books that spirit

is always for fuller expression and

expansion of itself so if spirit is

looking to expand and express itself to

and through us and we have emotions as

part of our physical body we have mental

faculties and we have a body with you

know bones and tissues and organs then

if our physical body and our mindset and

our emotions are in the way of our

spiritual growth there is conflict there

is fear and when we get a line between

our spiritual emotional mental and

physical then we have coherence and

harmony so I call that the CEMP model


many people are operating life only at

the physical level and at the emotional

level and they are forgetting that they

are spiritual they have emotions they

have mental faculties and they have a

body so they have the order

wrong in my humble opinion what if you

started operating from a spiritual

perspective that there are no accidents

in the universe randomness yes but no

accidents coincidences only mean when

two angles coincide so everything that’s

happening okay is unfolding as it should

and so there are gonna be plenty of

opportunities for lessons and the

meaning that we give those lessons are

going to determine how we feel about

them mm-hmm right so now we’re learning

how to be aware of the meanings that I’m

giving things and so when you ask

somebody who is highly successful you

know what does fear mean to you most

highly successful people will tell you

it’s just feedback it’s just something

that I I didn’t think the right way or I

didn’t do the right things but it’s not

who I am people who haven’t had personal

development training think that failure

is something that is part of their

identity that there’s something wrong

with them and so and so when we’re

talking about lessons usually nature

gives you a test first and then the

lesson afterwards so mother nature gives

the tests first and then the lessons now

if you are somebody who likes to study

and read and learn from you know from

whether it’s books or great YouTube

channels like this one or or you know

other different means of dissemination

of information knowledge skills

awareness then you’re gonna go okay Wow

I have developed a higher level of skill

when I teach my students and I’m not

talking about in school I have students

who share or come to into our programs

I said listen what level do you want to

play the game of life do you want to

play the level at the kindergarten level

at the grade school level high school

level university level pro level do you

want to make the all-star team do you

want to make the hall-of-fame those are

your levels of the game hmm right so

if you want to play the game you know at

a low level you are gonna be in a lot of

pain and discomfort and you’re not gonna

achieve very much but if you want to

level up your skills your knowledge your

awareness it’s gonna take a lot of

effort and you are going to fail a lot

get used to it that’s how you learn you

know you don’t become a world-famous

athlete musician CEO entrepreneur

without learning these these mental and

emotional and physical lessons

now you can shortcut some of the lessons

with books and with videos and with

coaching and mentors and and of course

experience and so but you first have to

determine like what level do you want to

play this game at and we have the health

game the wealth game relationship game

career game business game charity game

spiritual game like how well do you want

to play the game how good do you want to

get and then are you committed to

getting that good or you only committed

if it’s really easy right and this is

where you have to build your tenacity

and resolve muscle this is where you’ve

got to build your resourcefulness muscle

this is where you’ve got to build your

you know you’ve got to leave your quick

muscle somewhere else yeah Wow John I

love it it’s so over time and I just I’m

not that we had a time limit but I want

to you know pay respect to how much time

we set for this interview and everyone’s

kind of like no don’t end the interview

yet keep going so you know if if we

could just wrap this all together you

know we kind of started at the the

microcosm and then you know we started

to evolve into this this spiritual

connection to our purpose of you know

here in the game of life so if you had

to wrap this together for you know

be someone who is struggling with a fear

or goal in their life that they just

haven’t been able to tackle yet and what

are you if you’re talking to that person

what do you say to them well first I’ll

say them you’re gonna be okay

the first part is to acknowledge that I

have these disempowering emotions that

are not serving me and I’m now committed

to learning how to manage my emotions

better one of the things that if I if I

may I’m gonna ask you for permission if

I can if I can share something about my

new book that I did that’s different

than most books please um a lot of

people have got to New York Times

bestselling books I’ve got my my new

book inner size and what I’ve discovered

is when I’ve written how-to books people

who read them is like oh wow this is

great but they don’t follow through to

actions so what I did with this book

with inner size is not only that I tell

people here’s what’s going on here’s

what to do about it

but when people purchase my book on

Amazon I’m gonna give them eight brain

training audios where I will coach them

they’re free they’re worth 200 bucks

where they can practice with me

awareness managing emotions confidence

focus and what I’ve done instead of just

you know selling somebody a book and

giving them you know a great book is

start to practice with me as your mental

and emotional and focus coach in your

head for the next 30 60 90 days all you

got to do is buy the book if you want

for I think it’s 14 bucks on Amazon and

and then download the audios for free

and start to practice so you have more

confidence and more self-control and

more awareness and more resolved in

tenacity and so listening to somebody

like me or anybody else talk or watching

them it’s really a great first start but

you have to move from awareness and hope

and prayer and this sounds great

– you’ve got to take action to upgrade

your knowledge and skills and abilities

and nothing beats that then practicing

something that you want to get better at

for sure John you know I really

appreciate your presence and you know

going overtime a little bit here and you

know all the work that you’ve done it

seems like you’ve you know really done

your homework and you know you’ve

certainly maintained a level of success

and and that is resounding ly

educational for you know people who are

learning from your work so you know

where can people find your website where

can people you said Amazon the book is

available there what’s your web show

the for the book I recommend people go

and read about it at ignite my brain

comm ignite my brain calm and then they

can go to Amazon buy the book and then

come and get all the bonuses there

there’s a whole bunch of videos that I

give them as bonuses and audios I give

them as bonuses so ignite my brain calm

to find out more information about the

book and then go and get it on Amazon

number two is I’m all over social media

so I have an Instagram following it at

John Assaraf at a Twitter following at

John Assaraf and then every Tuesday I do

a Facebook live training on my Facebook

fan page okay and so they can find me on

social media and I’ve got websites as

well for minor Oh Jim calm and John

Assaraf calm but let’s start with a few

that we’re given more than three they’ll

probably get a little confused

so what was it what’s the main one to

get to if we’re just gonna you know give

them one is it minor Oh Jim calm her

find her Oh Jim calm as though is the

best one Shawn if you’ll hang tight for

me let me just do this close and guys


what an episode the book is called inner

thighs the new science to unlock your

brains hidden power my guest John

Assaraf AUSA Roth and guys that’s gonna

do it here at a chick’s P we will

certainly be back next week for another

live broadcast if you’re not subscribed

to us on YouTube click subscribe click

the light like button if you want to one

other thing if you’re listening to this

via podcast please get over to iTunes

leave us a review positive or negative

whatever you think about the show it

really helps us stay relevant one of the

most common things that I hear from

people is why hadn’t they discovered our

show sooner so I thank all of you for

listening without you guys this would

not be possible whatsoever so if you’ve

made it to this point at the end thank

you so very much we will be back next


Share Button